You Want To Make A Memory
by SeriouslySkullFlap
Summary: AU MerDer  After 12 years of not seeing each other Derek and Meredith are reunited but not the way either of them had ever expected.  Meredith is getting divorced and Meredith needs his help.
1. Chapter 1

_Meredith stood in the kitchen of her mother's house at the ripe old age of 18. She wasn't her normal smiling self as she stood there on the phone with her boyfriend. She was quiet and definitely not smiling. Her forehead leaned against the sliding glass door that lead out to the desk as tears started to roll down her cheeks. The words she heard in her ear were the last thing she expected to hear from the boy she loved. "I am not happy anymore." She couldn't believe it. In her eyes everything was perfect. In her eyes they were going to be together forever. In her eyes the words, "We can't see each other anymore" were not in her vocabulary. They were in his and he said them. _

"_Can't we work this out?" she pleaded as she tried to keep herself from breaking down. Her mother was in the other room. She did not want her to know what was going on._

"_No we can't" Tears. More tears flowed from her eyes. He didn't even sound sorry for what he was doing to her. There was no emotion in his voice. Could he really be throwing one year together away like this? It didn't seem possible. "I hope that we could still be friends."_

_How was that even possible? How could they still be friends after he crushed her heart like that? She couldn't comprehend. He hadn't really even given her a good answer as to why. "Is it another girl?" That had to be the reason. He met someone new. He met someone better. He met someone who could make him happy._

"_No it's not another girl. I am just not happy where this is going. I am sorry."_

"_I have to go." She couldn't bear to hear his voice anymore. She couldn't handle this. She had to get out of her kitchen before she broke down. _

"_Ok, I will talk to you later." Seriously? Does he seriously think we are still going to talk after this? Boys…they suck. She could never understand what made him think that it would all be ok and they could still be friends._

"_No you won't." She hung up. No matter how heart broken she was she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of playing with her mind. He wanted out so he got out. She hangs up the phone on the wall and quickly runs down stairs to her room where she buried her head in her pillow and cried._

As she sits in his office she looks back to that day. If you would have told an 18 year old Meredith Grey that 12 years later she would be sitting in Derek Shepherd's office for a divorce she would have laughed in your face. As far as she was concerned she would never see him again. He broke her heart like nobody could. First love syndrome (FLS) is what her and her friends started calling it. You only feel it once but it stays with you forever.

She shakes her head at herself for still dwelling on it all these years later. He should be long forgotten by now. She should have forgiven him by now. That's the thing about first love syndrome, you never get over it, it is always with you, you can't escape it, and no matter how many times you may tell yourself that you have finally moved passed it you haven't. She knows his all too well. She practically wrote the book on it. It doesn't mean she wasn't allowed to be in denial. That's an important phase of FLS.

Meredith's day dream is broken when the door is flung open. Derek stands in the doorway facing outwards saying something to his secretary. He wears a black suit with thin white pinstripes. He makes is a point to look as good as he possibly can every day. He believes appearance means everything to his clients. A handsome man in a good suit is just easier to trust. "Not now, Sheri, I have an appointment with a new client," he says. There are mumbles that come from outside the office door. He looks down at the folder he holds in his hands, "Meredith Russo."

She tries not to stare but how could she not. He has grown up into a handsome man. Handsome is an understatement. There isn't a word that comes to mind to describe how amazingly good looking Derek turned out to be. She shakes her head to snap out of it. She can't fall for him, not again. She is there for one reason and one reason only, he is the best. There is no way she would've gone to him if he wasn't the best. Seeing Derek again is trouble. It's breaking every rule she ever made about having FLS.

Sheri finally stops talking and Derek turns around to walk into his office. He is still looking over the folder while he closes the door to his office. He reaches his hand out first to shake hers before looking up at who is sitting in front of him. "Good afternoon, Mrs…Meredith? Meredith Grey? Is that you?" He can't hide the shock on his face. This defiantly is shocking. He is surprised he even recognized her. She has grown into an amazing woman.

"Soon to be…again," Meredith says with a bit of attitude. She knows it was a mistake coming to him. There is an awkward silence between them for a moment before she speaks up again. "I only came to you because I know you can get me what I want."

"I will do my best." He pauses. He knows he should be professional but he can't help but wonder what is going on with her. He feels like he should ask her. He suddenly gets the need to know everything that has happened with her over the years they have been apart. It was the first time in a long time he had this urge. "How long have you been married?"

"Five years. What about you? Are you married?" She forgot where she was for a moment. She quickly realizes the error of her questioning but it's too late to go back now. He was asking the question because that's his job, not because he cares.

"I don't think I believe in it anymore. Being in the position I am in it really makes one jaded. Right now I am too focused on my career to be in a relationship." This was bad. He has to get back on track or they may never get started. "I first need to ask you why you want this divorce."

"We have grown apart. It's a mutual agreement on both parts. We came to the conclusion together that we both would be better off apart."

"Of course, that's why you have separate lawyers," Derek joked. The still serious look on her face tells him that she is in no mood for jokes. His smile quickly turns serious and he feels like a jackass. "I'm sorry, I forgot this was business for a second and went back to my old ways."

"Derek, if you can't handle this I can use someone else." Meredith has no patience for Derek being Derek at the moment. She needs a lawyer not her ex-boyfriend. She begins to stand up and gather up her things. He puts his hand out to stop her and he slowly sits back down.

"Don't go. I can do this. We can do this. Let's start over, shall we?"

"Derek, I am just going to cut to the chase. I want custody of my son. Edward and I agree on everything but that. So I really need your help because he is moving away and if he gets custody I don't know what I will do. I know what you're capable of which is why I came to you to begin with. Believe me, this is not what I want so please just cut the crap and try to be serious for once in your life." It came out harsh and cold and it wasn't the way she wanted to start off but he was starting to get on her nerves. She cannot afford for him to act like he used to. She is still too weak for that. After 12 years, a marriage, and a son Meredith soon to be Grey again still gets butterflies in her stomach around Derek Shepherd.

Meredith walks out of Derek's office and to her vehicle. After climbing into the Jeep Commander she pulls out her cell phone before even turning the vehicle on. She waits until the person on the other end picks up. Before her friend could even say hello Meredith begins talking, "Meet me at The Big Apple Bar in a half hour."

"And hello to you too," the voice on the other end teases.

"Cut the crap, Cristina, I need to tell you about who I had a meeting with today," Meredith says as she frantically looks for her keys in her purse. "How did I misplace my keys? I just had them in my hand. I opened the door with them for Pete's sake!" Out of the corner of her eye she sees something shine in the reflection of the mid afternoon sun on her floor mat. She bends down to pick them up. "Here they are. I'll talk to you when I get there, bye." She hangs up the phone then starts what her husband refers to as her over sized SUV and drives out of the parking lot.

After Meredith leaves Derek sits still at his desk for what seems like hours but in reality is only 5 minutes. He jumps up startled from the sound of a knock on his door. Sheri opens the door slowly and peaks her head in. "Mr. Shepherd, your last appointment has cancelled. He said something about a flat tire. I already rescheduled him for tomorrow."

"This is why I use the subway," he mumbles. He isn't interested in having a conversation with his over eager secretary yet she lingers in hopes he asks her to come in and sit down. There would be none of that, especially not today when he has so much on his mind. "I am leaving early today. I have an important client to meet with for dinner. I trust you will lock up after you're finished in here?"

"Yes, sir," she says with a smile before closing the door and sitting back down at her desk.

Derek gathers his papers up in his briefcase before putting his coat on and walking out the door. He flags down a cab rather quickly and gets in. "One Hundred and One West End Ave, thanks."

Derek pays the cabby, picks up his briefcase from the seat next to him, then gets out. He doesn't bother ringing the doorbell of the apartment building he is at, he takes out the key and lets himself in. The door man is used to Derek walking in so he just tips his hat to greet him. Derek waves back before getting onto the elevator. He hits floor number 30 and waits patiently alone on the elevator to reach his destination. The doors open and he walks down the hallway. He slips his key in the keyhole and opens the door. He can hear screaming from the other room. He laughs to himself as he takes a seat on the couch.

Soon after, the bedroom door opens. Derek smiles at his best friend who is wearing only boxer shorts. "You don't even call before showing up here, Derek? I knew I should never have given you a key." Before Derek can respond the bedroom door reopens and a woman walks out and into the kitchen. She is wearing absolutely nothing. She walks out from the kitchen holding an apple and sits down next to Derek on the arm of the couch. "Derek…Delicious D…good now you two have met."

She shakes Derek's out reached hand, "Danielle."

Derek looks in Mark's direction. "Taking your work home with you, I see," he teases.

"Of course, I have to test out the new talent."

"He says that but I have been here every night for 5 weeks. Don't let him lie to you, Derek," Danielle says.

"That's enough. We need some privacy. We'll be out on the roof."

Derek and Mark walk into a door that would look like a closet to anybody else but instead of coats inside there are stairs. They walk up the short flight of stairs and open a second door leading out to the roof deck. They each sit in a lounge chair.

"You will never guess who I met with today," Derek says as he takes off his suit jacket to get more comfortable.

"You're right I won't. Who was it? You know I hate guessing games."

"Meredith Grey."

"Holy shit, did you fuck her?" Of course that would be the first thing out of his mouth. The strip club owner of a best friend only ever has one thing on his mind and that is sex.

"No of course I didn't. She is my new client. All she wants to do is talk business."

"Dude, does she even know how you feel?"


	2. Chapter 2

After circling around a few blocks for 15 minutes Meredith realizes a spot will not be opening up for her. There will be no miracle happening this evening. She finally gives in and pulls into the nearest parking garage. She reluctantly steps out of the vehicle and waits for the attendant to give her the ticket. She is already an hour late. She politely smiles as she grabs her ticket and makes her way up the walk way to begin her two block journey to the Big Apple Bar.

As she gets closer to the bar she rummages through her purse to find her wallet. The bouncer at this bar has a reputation to card everyone who walks through "his" doors no matter how old they look. As she stands in line waiting for her turn to get checked Cristina spots her from the bar. She stands up and makes her way through the crowd to get to the door. "Mer, come on," she says as she grabs Meredith's arm.

"I have to wait," Meredith squeaks out as she gets pulled through the several men in business suits and women in their blouses and skirts who are obviously there for happy hour after a long hard day at work. She mouths sorry as she makes her way to the front of the line. There is no stopping Cristina when she wants something.

"I have been waiting too long for you to be stuck in this ridiculous line." Cristina grabs Meredith's license out of her wallet and waves it in front of the bouncer's face. "Here look she's 30." Without waiting for a response they continue to walk over to the bar. "I was so desperate for company I was forced to call Izzie and Addison. What the hell took you so long?"

"There was traffic and then I couldn't find a parking spot. I finally gave in and used a parking garage," Meredith explains as she sits down at the bar next to her best friend who has obviously had a few drinks already.

"This is why I told you to get rid of that thing. You live in New York City where people get around by subways and taxis," Cristina says as she motions to the bartender to bring them a round of shots. "Plus it means you can't get sloppy drunk like the rest of us."

"Speak for yourself," Izzie chimes in, "The last time I came home sloppy drunk I scared the kids."

"You guys are seriously no fun since you became soccer moms," Cristina says as she looks at each one of her friends. "Speaking of which." She turns to face Meredith. "What is so important that you call me after all this time? I haven't spoken to you in months."

"I'm getting a divorce." There is no reason to dance around it. It's better to just come out with it. They all turn to her. This comes as a shock to all of them. Meredith and Edward were known as the perfect couple. "We just grew apart. It's better this way. I'm trying to get custody of Louie. Edward says he's moving to Seattle and I just can't live without Louie which is why I called you." She pauses before she goes on and takes a sip of her Sex on the Beach.

"Wait a second isn't Derek…" Addison begins to say as her eyes widen.

Izzie interrupts, "Oh Meredith, please tell me you didn't go to Derek."

"He's the best one for the job. Believe me it's the last thing I want."

"Which is why you called me in a panic about your little meeting with him?" Cristina says in a rather accusing tone. "When I met you in college you were a mess over this guy, Mer, we all know you've never stopped thinking about him."

Meredith hangs her head and stares into her drink. She stirs the straw around not wanting to admit that her meeting with Derek sparked something in her that had bed lying dormant for years. She knows it's a mistake to keep going to him but she knows there is nobody else she can go to for what she needs. Edward has hired of the best divorce attorneys in the tri-state area so she needs someone good. She needs someone who will win her her son. She needs the man who has been notorious for being the go to guy for a custody battle. She needs Derek Shepherd…as her lawyer.

"So how is he looking these days?" Izzie says with a mischievous smile on her face as she suggestively raises her eyebrows up and down.

"Amazing. He shouldn't be a lawyer but a GQ model. What am I going to do?" Meredith says as she finishes the last of her drink.

"Whatever you do don't do anything with him until the divorce is final. If Edward were to find out you had an affair he could hold that against you," Addison says.

"Whoa wait a second. Who said anything about sleeping with him?" Meredith says defensively. "All I said was the man is good looking. That doesn't mean I am going to sleep with him." They all try to hold in their laughter but can't control themselves. "I don't believe you guys. I don't want to sleep with him."

"Denial is the first step, Mer. You know this," Cristina says.

"There has to be a reason for all of this. Fate has brought you back together after so long," Izzie chimes in.

"Oh barf. Don't listen to her. That's the last thing you need to be thinking about right now. You'll get confused. Remember the first step. Once he lets you go he does not get the satisfaction of knowing he can have you again. You owe it to 18 year old Meredith to just not look at him the next time you see him."

"You're all being ridiculous. I will be fine. I am fine," Meredith says as she checks her phone for the time.

"Again…which is why you called me here tonight? This is me you are talking to. I didn't go to high school with you like Izzie and Addison did and I never meet the scum bag, but I know enough from the 4 years I spent with you in college that you are anything other than fine." Cristina then snatches the phone out of Meredith's hand and puts it in her pocket. "Don't even think about bailing on me. I haven't seen you in months. We are staying here until they kick us out."

There is no changing Cristina's mind and Meredith is too tired to argue. She has nowhere to be anyway. Louis is with Edward so she would have her apartment to herself. It was her first day alone. Edward had moved out the day before. It would take some getting used to. For the last 5 years of her life he was her rock and to think of that being gone forever…well she doesn't want to think of that right now. She looks to the bartender and says, "Four shots of tequila please."

There are plenty of parking spots outside of Derek's building yet Meredith circles around and around the block. So many emotions ran through her that morning that she prepared for her second visit with him. These were definitely emotions she had left behind so long ago when she finally could say to herself she had moved on. Suddenly she finds herself nervous about seeing him, about the way she looks. She even put her perfume in her purse to make sure she smelled good for him. These were things a young child in puppy love would do, not a woman who has been on her fair share of dates. This wasn't even a date. This was a meeting with her divorce lawyer. She kept telling herself that as she finally decided to park her SUV and make her way into the building.

She gives friendly smiles to everyone she comes across. As she walks closer and closer to the elevator her mood becomes that much happier. She doesn't try to stop it. She had given up on fighting her feelings once she decided to park the car. She practically was grinning ear to ear by the time she made it onto Derek's floor. She was late. She knew he would understand. Traffic in Times Square had been an utter nightmare. All she knew about it was some hot boy band was up at the MTV studios and the police had wound up shutting the whole street down like it was New Years Eve. She thanked God that she had gotten through before that had happened. She would have had to reschedule her appointment and she did not want to do that. It would be her last free day without Louis before he came back from the weekend at his grandmother's.

Her friendly smiles stop when she gets into the waiting room for Derek's law firm. It wasn't on purpose. She would have gladly continued her good mood but Sheri, Derek's secretary, had started to give her dirty looks as soon as she walked in the door. She had even given her attitude about being late to the appointment. Meredith shrugs the rudeness off as she takes a seat and waits for Derek to be done with his client. She decides to take out her notepad and write. She is coming up with a treatment for a new novel she will be writing so she has been using every spare moment of her days to write whatever comes to mind. She finds the ideas flow a lot easier when she is out and about. She makes a note to write a jealous middle aged secretary into her story somewhere. She smiles to herself as she makes notes of Sheri's every move before she hears her name called. She quickly stuffs her pad into her bag and walks into Derek's office.

She takes a seat in the chair facing his desk and places her bag and purse on the floor beside her. Derek closes the door and takes a seat in his chair at his desk. She looks up at him to see him sitting back in his chair with his hands together and rests them on his chest. "Now normally I would make my clients reschedule when they are 2 hours late to an appointment. You're lucky I am fond of you," he teases.

"I am so sorry, Derek, there was traffic in Time's Square. I was coming from a meeting. I wish MTV would just move to Los Angeles so we won't be bothered."

"Wait a second. Did you just say traffic? What kind of city dweller are you if you drive everywhere? Imposter!" Again he says in a teasing manner. Meredith doesn't find it very funny. It was bad enough Cristina makes fun of her every chance she gets. She didn't need this from Derek as well.

"It's easier for me. You got a problem with that?" she says defensively. She wishes she didn't let him get to her like that. She knows he was just teasing. Derek was always teasing in a playful manner. It's just how he lightens up the mood in a tense situation. Her mind wanders. Did he feel they had tension between them? That is not she wanted at all. She hoped that sine they had known each other in the past that all would be good. All was not good. She was fooling herself when she said she could put her FLS feelings aside. They all came back faster than she had expected. He continues to study her facial expressions as he watches her zone out. He smiles and lets out a quiet chuckle. It was enough to snap her back into reality.

"So what do you do for a living?" he asks. He doesn't want to make her uncomfortable so he doesn't bring up the fact that he noticed that she had zoned out. He tries to keep his mind off her and on the task at hand, building a strong enough case for Meredith to receive full custody of Louis.

"Is this a personal question or is this apart of the case?"

"I guess a little bit of both," He confesses, "Listen, I am going to have to know every single detail eventually. This is one of the hardest cases I have worked on in a while. It really can go either way. You both are so perfect. It's going to come down to the smoothest talker and the better presenter."

"I'm a writer. I do all of my work from home."

"Good, that shows that you have done a lot of the raising of your child. What does Edward do?"

"He's an editor."

Derek pauses. The similarities between the two are sickening. "That's just adorable." He can't help but tease. They seem like the perfect couple. He can't understand what has gone wrong between them and Meredith hadn't really given him a straight answer.

Meredith rolls her eyes at Derek's attempt at pushing her buttons. "He works for a magazine and I work for a publishing firm. It's two totally different things."

"Yeah sure whatever you say, Mer. You and your husband are sickeningly perfect. What actually happened between the two of you?"

"It's hard to explain in words," she says before taking a moment to really think about it. It all had happened so fast. One day they both came to the conclusion together that they would be better off apart. They hadn't talked about it much after that. Their relationship was always like that. It did seem like the perfect couple. It reminds her a lot of how she and Derek were before he had broken up with her. "Well why did you break up with me?"

"We were at different places in our lives. You had just graduated high school and I was about to start law school. We just grew apart. I needed to be on my own." He hadn't thought about it in quite some time. The pain starts to come back to him. It killed him to hear her pleas on the other end of the phone as he broke her heart with each word that left his mouth. It was something he had to do for himself. He knows she would never understand….until now. "I guess it's almost like what you're going through right now, huh?" She nods her head yes. "I see."

"Did you ever think of me?" She can't believe she's asking these questions. This is supposed to be about her and her husband. She just can't help but wonder. These questions had plagued her for so long. All throughout college the memories of her and Derek haunted her as she sunk deeper and deeper into depression. There is no turning back now. She might as well let it all hang out. "Sometimes I would think about how you were doing. I would think about what you were doing. I used to wonder if you thought about me too. I hoped that you missed me and realized you made a mistake. I didn't even want you back. I just wanted you to feel guilt. I wanted you to feel the pain I felt. Did you feel any of it?"

He didn't want to tell her. The truth would hurt her too much. They are now adults though. Maybe she will be able to handle it. He can't lie to her. That would not be fair. "I…I didn't for a while. I was so focused on school. During my last year of law school I was sitting in on a case. A 10 year old girl was left home alone by her mother. Her mother got called in to work and didn't have time to call a babysitter so she just left her there." He pauses. "And that's it."

"That's it? How did that remind you of me? What are you leaving out of this story?"

"I remembered when your mother would get called to the hospital and leave you home. This girl could have easily been you. I couldn't get you or her out of my head after that. It's the reason why I became a divorce lawyer. If that little girl's father would have won the custody battle, she would still be alive today. I just know it."

"Alive? She died? What happened to her?"

"I'd rather not say." There is an awkward silence. He glances at his clock. "Do you want to finish this over dinner or something? It's getting late. I want to talk about your case more but I can't stay in this office any more."

"I shouldn't, Derek, we can just continue the next time I come here." She picks up her bags and stands up to leave. Derek quickly grabs his coat and puts it on.

"Let me at least walk you to your car." She doesn't say anything before walking out of the office. "I'm going to take that as an "ok sure, Derek.""

He turns the light off in his office and continues to follow her. Sheri has already gone home so it's quiet as they make their way through the office and into the hallway where the elevator is. The elevator ride is also quiet. They just had a pretty intense conversation. It had only been a few weeks since they have seen each other for the first time in so long and yet they feel so close again. Meredith knows she needs to keep her guard up. She can't let herself fall for him. Too much time had passed. The words Addison spoke to her plays over and over in her head. "Whatever you do don't do anything with him until the divorce is final." Addison is right. If she were to get caught with him it would all be over.

On the way to Meredith's car Derek tries to find words to say. They had ended their session on really weird terms. Their conversation had gotten way out of hand. They never should have talked about their personal stuff. He internally kicks himself for letting it get so out of hand. He knows better than this. He is a professional. He is one of the best divorce lawyers in New York. Seeing her again makes him feel all those things he used to feel. She has matured and grown up to be an amazing woman. He is intrigued by her even more than he was when they first met. He vows to keep their relationship strictly professional until after the case is over. He doesn't want to jeopardize her chances of winning the case.

They both are so lost in their thoughts that they don't realize that they have been standing at her truck in silence for 5 minutes. They both look at each other and lock eyes. They each smile and look back down at the sidewalk. Neither of them know what to say. Meredith leans back on the driver's side door as she faces out. He leans on his side next to her. She turns her head to him and finally speaks, "I'll call you…I'll call Sheri to schedule another appointment."

"Yeah ok." He leans in and kisses her on the cheek. She breathes in his cologne and closes her eyes before he pulls back. It took all of her strength not to hug him. It wouldn't be appropriate, she knows this. "I'm glad you came to me."

"Yeah me too."

He waves goodbye and begins his walk to the subway stop at the end of the block. She gets in her SUV and watches him until he walks down the stairs to the subway and is out of site. She shakes her head at herself as she turns on the car and starts to drive home. The events that had just transpired run through her head. She tries to analyze them. Does he have feelings for her? Does she have feelings for him? All of this didn't matter at the moment. They couldn't do anything about it until after she wins her case. Derek's reasoning for choosing profession tells her that maybe just maybe he feels the same way. Little does she know that Derek is on the subway car wondering the same exact things she is.


	3. Chapter 3

Everyone agreed that no matter how much they would make fun of Meredith for her SUV it did come in handy this fall. This would be the first year their kids would all try their hand in soccer. With Meredith driving, Addison in the front passenger seat, and Izzie and Alex in the back with a bag of soccer balls in the middle of them they all laughed at how silly they all looked without their actual kids in the vehicle with them. They would show up later with Addison's husband, who is also the head coach of the team. Alex had volunteered as assistant coach right away. He would have nobody else coaching his son but him.

As they pulled up to the parking lot which is conveniently located right in front of the field they could already see other families gathered waiting for the first practice to start. Alex had met some of the parents and children at registration so he immediately felt comfortable about his decision about becoming coach. He's a little too eager to talk with the guys after the car ride with the women that he jumped out of the car as soon as they parked and started heading over to the group of dad's that had gathered.

Meredith notices Alex trying to escape and turns back to Izzie who is still sitting in the back seat. "Iz, you better get that husband of yours back here. I am not going to be lugging his balls around." Addison and Izzie burst out laughing. "Oh shut up."

Izzie opens the door on her side and screams out to Alex, "Get back here and get your balls!"

Alex slaps his hand over his face and turns around as he mutters to himself, "Could she be any more embarrassing?" He makes his way back to the car while glaring at his wife the whole time. She knows what she did, she did it on purpose. Izzie stands there with a huge grin on her face. "Did you have to yell that?"

"Did I embarrass you? I am so sorry," Izzie says sarcastically as Alex grabs the ball bag out from the back seat.

Alex ignores Izzie's comments and looks up at Addison who has come around to their side of the car with Meredith. "Where is your husband with our kids? Everybody else is here."

Before Addison could open her mouth she feels something against her leg. "MOMMY!" the little girl squeals as she wraps her arms around Addison's waist. Addison squats down and hugs her daughter.

"Hey Jessica, it looks like daddy got you all ready for soccer." She had to laugh at the crooked pony tail that her husband tried to put in their daughter's hair. Addison takes the hair out and puts her daughter's long auburn hair back into a straight pony tail. She takes a step back to take a look at what he had dressed her in. A long sleeved USA soccer t-shirt, sweatpants, shin guards with long socks pulled up over them, and even cleats. Addison shakes her head thinking he had gone a bit overboard.

Meredith has Louis seated on the driver's side seat facing out. She ties the laces of his cleats as he plays with her hair. He pulls it up, lets go and lets it fall back down and repeats until she is finished getting him ready. "Did you have a good time with Jessica's dad?"

"Yeah, he made us psghetti. He says it gives us energy." He grabs her hand as they walk towards the field. "Is daddy coming?"

"He said he would be here. He is probably just running late." Meredith hopes she is right. It would kill Louis if his father didn't show up, especially because it is the first practice. It wasn't like Edward to be late to anything involving Louis. He rarely was late to anything at all.

Jessica runs ahead and Louis lets go of Meredith's hand and follows behind her. Addison walks over to Meredith who has started to walk over to the bleachers where they were going to sit and watch the practice from. They glance over at Alex and Izzie who are still with their son. Addison smiles, "I bet I know what's going on over there with the Karevs. Alex is saying "C.J., you're going to go out there and be the most aggressive person out there." And Izzie is saying, "Please just don't get hurt, pookie bear." Meredith laughs. There is no doubt that those words would be coming out of their mouths.

Alex takes a headband out of his pocket and puts it around his son's dirty blonde hair. Carson's hair is short but Alex thinks to be the part you have to look the part. Izzie rolls her eyes at her husband who has been trying his hardest to make his son the most athletic person in the world from the moment he was born. As soon as Alex puts the headband on his sons head Carson pulls it off. "Carson James, you will put that back on right now." Izzie smacks Alex in the arm for being so hard on him.

C.J. slowly puts the headband back around his head and says in a low voice, "Sorry, daddy."

"Come on, let's head out to the field. We'll get you loosened up," Alex says as he takes C.J.'s hand and they begin to walk away.

Izzie calls out to Alex, "Please remember he's only 5." Alex just looks back and smiles. Izzie rolls her eyes and makes her way over to the bleachers where Addison and Meredith are already seated. "Alex is acting like this is the World Cup."

"I wouldn't expect anything less from him, Iz," Meredith says. She looks around the park to see if she could spot any sign that Edward is on his way. The practice is about to start and he still isn't there. She squints her eyes as she sees someone that could be him. As the figure gets closer she smiles as she realizes that it is indeed Edward and all of her fears and worries go away. He wouldn't be that dad that disappoints his son by not showing up to things only because they are getting divorced. When Edward spots them he waves and walks faster to get to the bleachers before the practice begins.

"Sorry I am late." He kisses each of the women on the cheek to greet them. "I missed the subway and it took me forever to catch a cab. Did I miss anything?"

"They're just about to start," Izzie says.

Edward looks around to see that all the women had gathered on the bleachers and all the men had gathered under a tree. He looks back at the group of women he had gotten so used to hanging out with over the years of his marriage and then back at the men. "I'm going to go hang out with the guys." He gets up and walks over to the guys and slaps some hands when he gets there.

All of the focus goes to the field where they have the kids gathered around to start the practice. "Hi I am Coach Duquette and this is Coach Karev. Is everyone ready to play some soccer?" The kids all cheer and scream and with that the practice begins.

It's not long before the kids start to lose interest in what Alex has to say. Some of them start picking at the grass and throwing it at the kid seated next to them and the others start talking amongst themselves. Jessica, Addison's daughter, stands up and starts to dance. All of the attention of the kids goes to her. They start chanting her name and clapping their hands which makes her giggle and dance even crazier.

"Jessica, you know better," Denny says in a calm voice.

She ignores the attempt of her father to make her stop instead she turns her back to him and continues with her dance.

"Get that kid of yours in line, Duquette," Alex says. Before Denny can say anything else CJ stands up and joins Jessica in her dance. At first he dances alone but soon he grabs her hands with his and they begin to dance together. All of the kids are cheering and laughing at the site of Jessica and C.J. dancing. They stand up and form a circle around them. Alex begins to feel his blood boil. Before he loses his temper he tries to calm himself down. A yell sneaks out, "Carson James Karev, you stop that right now." C.J. stops dead in his tracks and so does Jessica and the rest of the kids.

For Denny teaching a group of 5-6 year olds comes naturally. He is around most of his team while at work anyway. Being an elementary school teacher comes in handy. Alex on the other hand finds that coaching would not be as easy as he thought it would be. Not being known for his patience Alex decides to take a small group of the kids to teach them the fundamentals of the game while Denny takes the rest to start teaching them the basic skills of the game.

The kids start to calm down and get into the game while in their smaller groups. Alex breathes a sigh of relief when they all have their attention on him and it seems like they are even understanding it. Half way through Denny and Alex switch groups so the kids will have an equal amount of knowledge going into the next practice. Izzie was worried about Alex's temper when he decided to sign on with Denny to coach. "I'm glad he's teaching the rules because you know he'd only be teaching them how to score. Nobody would know defense with Alex in charge," Izzie says as they look on.

"So Addison, how did you manage to land the perfect husband? He's great with the kids, he teaches, he coaches, and he still has time to be a great father and husband." Meredith asks. It's not even that Edward wasn't all those things, he was. There came a time where Edward became more and more distant and Meredith never asked why. They were still happy so she felt no need to try and fix things. Looking back on it now maybe she should have tried. She isn't unhappy with her decision to get a divorce or if she was she hadn't come to realize it yet. Something in the back of her mind keeps telling her it's the right thing to do.

"I have the wonderful Isobel to thank for my husband. It's a good thing her and Denny didn't hit it off on their first date or I'd be Addison Karev." They all laugh.

"Oh my god, imagine that," Izzie says through her laughs. "You'd have some evil kids." Addison throws her gloves at Izzie. "You're just mad cause you know I'm right."

Meredith opens her mouth to add onto the teasing of Addison when her phone rings. They all look in the direction of Meredith's purse. Who on earth would be calling? Everybody she usually talks to is at the practice. The only person who is missing is Cristina and she never uses the phone. Meredith fumbles through her purse until she finds her phone. She looks down to see a number she doesn't recognize on the display screen. "I don't know who it is."

"See if they leave a message. Maybe it's a wrong number," Izzie says. They all sit there not saying a word as they listen to the sound of Meredith's ring tone. The ringing finally stops and is followed shortly after by a little noise that signifies a voicemail has been left.

"Come on, listen to the message. This one time someone called my phone and it was the wrong number and the guy wound up talking about sex for 5 minutes before realizing I wasn't his girlfriend," Addison says as she scoots closer to Meredith.

Meredith reluctantly picks up her phone to listen to the message. "Meredith, it's Derek. Um, give me a call when you get this I guess. I'm never good at leaving messages. I normally hang up and call back later. Anyway, call me back, bye." She blushes immediately at the sound of his voice. A little smile sneaks though.

"Who was it?" Izzie asks. "The curiosity is killing us."

"It was Derek," Meredith mumbles not really wanting to tell them. She knows how they will react and she's trying not to get too excited herself.

"Call him back."

"Yeah you have to call him back, Mer."

"I was kind of counting on you guys to talk me out of it." Addison grabs the phone out of Meredith's hand, finds the phone number and calls it back. She hands the phone back to Meredith with a huge grin on her face.

"Come on, Iz, she needs to be alone." Addison tugs on the sleeve of Izzie's jacket and they make their way over to another group of moms who had gathered at the sidelines of the field.

She doesn't have to go through with it. She could just hang the phone up. Deep down inside she wants to hang up. She doesn't want to be excited to hear his voice. She doesn't want to smile over the simple fact that he had thought about her enough to call her. As the phone rings she hops he wont pick up. Just as she goes to hang up he answers, "hello?"

"Hi, Derek? You Called. Um, I didn't even know you had this number. Well I mean I know you had it because I gave it to your office but your office number is not where you called from because I have that number in my phone."

"Yeah, this is my cell phone. I guess I looked it up and added it. I hope that's ok."

"I suppose it is."

"Listen, the reason I called is well…did Edward show up to practice?"

"Yes he did. Louie is so happy he made it. This may actually work out."

"Yeah, until he leaves." Meredith is silent. She didn't want to think about him leaving. Not only would she miss Edward but if he won she wouldn't know what to do without Louis. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"No it's ok. It's a reality that I am going to have to face." Derek knows he messed up. He didn't even call to talk to her about Edward. He wasn't sure what he had even called for. He just wanted to talk to her/. She said it was ok but he knew it wasn't. Even though Meredith keeps telling him they came up with the idea together he isn't really convinced that is the case. Part of her still loves him and wishes he wouldn't go. He knows this and he needs to be sensitive of it. Meredith finally speaks up, "I should get going."

"Yeah I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bright and early. Goodbye, Derek." She doesn't wait for his response before she hits the end button and puts the phone back in her purse. The very happy feeling of the phone call had given her quickly turned into sadness. She doesn't want Edward to move. It will crush Louis. She hadn't explain that to him. It was hard enough explaining why they would no longer all be together anymore. She feels tears coming to her eyes as she looks out onto the soccer field at her son. He is getting ready to kick the ball and he looks over at his father and smiles. How do you tell a boy like that he may no longer see his father every day? Her sadness quickly disappears when Louis's attention turns to her. He waves before kicking the ball and she waves back. She makes her way over to Izzie and Addison who have somehow gotten hot chocolate.

Izzie hands Meredith a cup as Addison starts questioning her. "So what did he want?"

"He wanted to know something for the case." She really did not want to talk about the phone call. It had left a bad taste in her mouth. She had gotten mad when she knows she shouldn't have. At least she would see him tomorrow to clear things up. She takes a sip of the hot chocolate. It was perfect. Not to hot and not cold either. She closes her eyes as she holds the cup under her nose and inhales the sweet smell of the cocoa. She opens her eyes to see Edward standing in front of her. She smiles.

"I was wondering if I could take Louie out for ice cream when this is finished," he says.

"Sure I don't see why not." They look out to the field to see Louis kick the ball hard into the goal. "It looks like we have our own little Pele on our hands."

Edward lets out a laugh, "Ha, yeah. It looks like practice is over. I'll see you in a little while." Edward walks towards Louis. Louis runs over to Edward and jumps into his arms. Meredith looks on as all the families start to gather up their kids. She is left standing by herself. This is how it's going to be from now on. The only single parent on the whole team. Soon Edward would move to Seattle and leave her all alone. It makes her even more determined to win the custody case. Her whole life depends on it.


	4. Chapter 4

Beep, beep, beep. The alarm sounds as it does every weekday morning at 6 o'clock sharp. When Addison was first pregnant with Jessica they agreed that they would wake up together and get ready for the day together despites the fact Addison would be working from home. They were going to make it work unlike what her parents did with her. She would not have her child walking off to school alone with a couple of dollars for lunch. She would be accompanied by her mother while holding her Barbie lunch box filled with a special lunch each made by both of her parents together.

Denny slams his hands down on the clock to make it stop. He grumbles as he slowly rolls out of bed. He looks down at his sleeping wife who hasn't moved one bit. A part of him wants to wake her up because not only did they have their pact but he'd be damned if he is awake so early in the morning all by himself. He smiles as he slowly reaches for his pillow. He picks it up and holds it over her head. He lets go and dropped it on top of her. A muffled grunt can be heard from underneath the pillow.

"Come on, Addie, rise and shine," Denny says almost in a mocking tone. He is a morning person, but the woman he married is far from it and he makes a point to bust her balls whenever a situation presents itself…which happens to be almost every morning. Her response is holding the pillow closer to her face to block out her husband's attempts of waking her up. "Fine, you can stay in bed all morning and I'll just pack cookies and candy for Jess's lunch and you can deal with her when she gets home."

Addison quickly pushes the pillow off of her face and sits up on the edge of the bed. "I'm up, I'm up. Are you happy now?"

"You act like this doesn't happen every morning. Might I remind you that this was your idea?"

"I'm not in the mood for your cuteness this morning, Denny." Addison picks up a pair of sweatpants from the floor. "Are these mind or yours?" She holds them up to her waits, shrugs, and then steps into them. They practically fall off of her butt as soon as she lets go of them. Denny lets out a laugh. "Oh I don't care if they're yours. I'm only going to the kitchen anyway."

She begins to walk out of the room but is caught by Denny. He wraps his arms around her and kisses her. "Do you know how much of a turn on it is when you wear my clothes?"

He begins to kiss her neck. She squirms and pushes away from him. "We can't do this today. We're already running late. She'll be awake soon. You don't want your darling daughter walking in on us doing the nasty, do you?"

He takes a breath before he answers. "No, no I don't. Come on, let's go."

They make their way into the kitchen to begin their morning ritual. Denny starts up the coffee while Addison searches the refrigerator for eggs. While Addison gets breakfast ready Denny begins to prepare Jessica's lunch.

"So it's crazy about Meredith and Eddie, huh?" Addison asks.

"It's none of our business," Denny replies. She knows that Denny will most likely be taking Edward's side and she will be taking Meredith's but they can't avoid talking about it forever. They are their friends. Edward is Jessica's god father. It can't be pushed aside.

"But they're our friends. Don't you find it off that it doesn't seem to be bothering either of them that they're splitting up?"

"I suppose. I honestly haven't thought about it. Eddie hasn't spoken to me much about it. Not all divorces end on bad terms, you know." He begins to make Jessica's turkey sandwich.

"I know, it's just that I have a weird feeling about all this."

"Don't worry about them. They will be fine." He walks up behind her and puts his arms around her as he talks into her ear, "Let's worry more about getting you out of these clothes."

Before Addison can say anything a little voice can be heard from the doorway. "Good morning, Mommy and Daddy." Denny practically jumps off of Addison and goes back to making Jessica's lunch.

"Good morning, Jess, I made some eggs. Come have some breakfast," Addison says as she sits down at the table.

Jessica and Addison eat breakfast as Denny takes a shower and gets ready for work. He shortly emerges showered and dressed. He gives both his wife and daughter a kiss goodbye and leaves for work. Addison is a bit worried when her daughter sits at the kitchen table munching on her buttered toast without saying a word. Normally her daughter would tell her about something she watched on TV the night before or she would ask questions about something she heard in school. Addison puts her hand on Jessica's and Jessica looks up.

"Is everything ok, Jess?" Addison asks as she pulls her hand back and continues eating.

"Are you and daddy getting a divorce?" she replies in a low voice as she hangs her head and plays with her eggs with her fork.

The question throws Addison off guard. It was not what she was expecting to hear from her five year old at all. She hadn't even thought about talking it over with Jessica. She kicks herself for not thinking about how it might be affecting Louis and what Louis would tell his friends about it. Addison stands up and squats down next to Jessica's chair. "No we're not, sweetie, what makes you ask that?"

"Louie's mommy and daddy are getting one."

"Daddy and I are going to be together forever. Meredith and Edward just feel that it would be better if they lived apart but that doesn't mean that they have stopped loving each other or Louis. Is this what you've been upset about?"

Jessica throws her arms around her mother's neck to give her a hug. "I don't want daddy to move away." Addison hugs her and rubs her back. She hadn't realized this was taking such an affect on the kids the way it is. She will have to talk to Meredith and possibly Izzie to have a good talk with the children about what's going on. They all have a right to know.

"We're not going anywhere. I promise." Addison pulls away to see the smiling face of her daughter. She smiles back. "Come on, let's get you ready for school."

Jessica grabs Addison's hand and they walk into her bedroom to pick something out to wear for the day. As Jessica gets dressed Addison gets changed into something more presentable. She would have to take a shower when she gets back from taking Jessica to school. Worry starts to get in when she begins to think about her conversation with Jessica about divorce. She hopes she handled it well. She didn't know what to say. She would have to talk to Denny later about it so they could have a real heart to heart talk to reassure her daughter that everything will be ok.

He doesn't need an alarm clock. Alex's internal clock is good enough to wake him up at the perfect time every morning. Arms crossed behind his head Alex stares up at the ceiling. He knows the day ahead of him is going to be a terrible one, he had only gone into work without sleep one other time and it almost caused his occupational demise. Most mornings Alex would wake up bright and early at 5am. This particular morning he is already awake from the night before. He rolls over on his side to face his sleeping wife. He leans in and kisses her softly on the lips. A smile creeps over her face as she puckers up for one more. He obliges and kisses her again before getting out of bed. "I'm going to shower if you want to try one more time before I go to work," he says as he stretches in the door way.

"I have a good feeling about this time. I think this is it," she says after rolling onto her back and pulling the blanket up over her naked body and up to her chin.

"You say that every time, Iz."

"No, this time I'm sure. It's a different good feeling."

He walks back over to the bed and kisses her once more. This time it's more than a soft good morning kiss. This kiss is passionate and playful. "Shower…come on…let's go." With each word he kisses her on the neck. A naughty grin is all she needs to see to convince her. She giggles and sprints out of bed and into the master bathroom. Alex quickly follows.

At 630am Izzie slowly walks into her sleeping son's room. He sleeps just like his father. An atomic bomb wouldn't wake him up let alone his New York Yankee alarm clock. Only a mother's touch does the trick each and every morning. A simple pat on the back has young Carson's eyes sleepily open. Alex has already left for work so it is up to Izzie and C.J. to get their day started. Most kids just have some cereal and orange juice before school, not Izzie's son. Izzie's son has French toast, pancakes, omelets, bacon and eggs, and on special occasions cornered beef and hash. As a stay at home mom Izzie has time to cook such extravagant breakfast every morning, not to mention she is a cooking fiend.

"Pancakes today, mommy?" the little voice could be heard from behind the island dividing the dinning area and the kitchen.

"You are getting good, Carson James, yes we are having pancakes this morning. Have a seat at the table, they're almost done."

An already dressed for the day Carson pulls out the chair and sits down. He colors a picture with crayons while he waits. When everything is ready Izzie joins C.J. at the table after cutting up his pancake into smaller pieces and pouring syrup in a little circle for him to dip the pieces into. She grabs a few pancakes for herself and begins to eat her breakfast. She notices the picture C.J. had drawn and pulls it closer to her.

"Do you like it, mommy?"

"I love it. Is that you and Louis?"

"Uh huh."

"And is that you and Louis wrestling on the bed?" she says in a stern voice as she looks up at him.

"You and daddy wrestle on the bed and you never get in trouble for it. Why can't I?"

Izzie opens her mouth to say something. What? What could she possibly say? She knows exactly what he is referring to and the only thought that runs through her head is about the fact that she thought that they locked the door. She needs a response and quickly before he asks more questions about "bed wrestling". "I really like the picture, can I have it?" He is young, he will forget soon enough she figures as she obviously changes the subject.

"No! It's for Louis. He is sad. Do you think it will make him feel better?"

"You're a good friend, C.J., Louie will love it."

"I hope so. I don't like it when he's sad."

"None of us do, sweetie. Come on, let's clean up and get ready to go."

Izzie and C.J. rinse off the plates and place everything in the dishwasher. She finishes cleaning up the kitchen while C.J. runs into his room to get his backpack. Izzie picks up the drawing Carson had made and places it into a folder. Carson comes running out of his room and stands by the door waiting for Izzie to catch up. Izzie hands him the folder with the picture in it and they leave.

Little Louis Russo is awoken every morning to the sounds of Radio Disney. He normally walks into his sleeping mother's room and climbs into bed with her. He would shake her a little bit to wake her up and if that doesn't work then he jumps on the bed and that always gets to her. Louis walks into Meredith's room to find Meredith already awake. Sleeping along is not something that is coming easily to her. She sits in her bed reading the latest bit of notes she had taken for her novel. She is so close to being able to pitch it to her publisher. Nothing could take her away from her writing. Not Edward, not the divorce, and not Derek.

"You're awake again," Louis says almost disappointed. He loved to wake Meredith up every morning. He misses Edward being there but he takes pride in being the man of the house.

"Yeah, I'm getting some work done before I have my meeting today." Louis climbs into the bed and sits down next to Meredith. She puts her arm around him as she finishes her last paragraph before getting the notebook aside. "Are you ready for some breakfast?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" He jumps off of the bed and runs into the kitchen. Meredith gets out of bed and follows after him. Much to her surprise there are cereal boxes all over the kitchen and Louis sitting on the floor in the middle of it.

"Louis, what's going on in here?" Meredith asks calmly but in a tone that tells him she is not pleased with what he has done.

"I want frosted flakes."

"We have corn flakes. You do not need that much sugar so early in the morning."

"Daddy has frosted flakes." No, she is not going to do this with him. It is the first time he has pulled the "daddy lets me" card but Meredith is determined that it would not be tolerated.

"Mommy and daddy's houses are going to be different, Sweetie. You can have frosted flakes when you are there but when you're here you eat what I have." She didn't want to be harsh with him. It wasn't his fault. They hadn't talked to him about it so he didn't know better. She knows this is hard on him and she will make it as easy on him as possible. She could see what Edward is doing. He never had frosted flakes before. He's trying to make it so Louis would like him better. Two can play at that game but she can play it better. "We will go out for ice cream after dinner instead. Do we have a deal?"

"It's a deal," he stays with excitement. It's not every day Meredith offers ice cream. He could spend a week helping out around the house and in the end still not get any so he knows how special this is. He sees Meredith toasting up some English muffins. She usually would just have them and Louis would have cereal. "Mommy, can I have what you're having?"

"Of course you can. I usually put jelly on mine, is that what you want?"

"Does it taste good?"

"It's very yummy. I'll let you take a bite and we'll see if you like it.

The toaster oven dings when it's done startling Louis. He giggles and squeals, "That scared me!"

"It scares me too sometimes," Meredith confesses as she spreads the grape jelly on the toasted English muffin. She hands him the plate and he walks over to the table to eat. Meredith goes to the refrigerator to get him some milk and a plum. He would have to get more than an English muffin to get him through the day. As soon as her muffin is finished she joins Louis at the table. "Do you like it?"

"Mmmhmm, it's good." He goes back to eating his English muffin but only for one more bite before he puts it back down on the plate. "Mommy, can I ask you something and you promise you won't get mad at me?"

"You could ask me anything and I will never be mad at you for it."

"When is daddy coming back?" He immediately looks down after he asks. The question just about breaks her heart. How do you tell your son that his father won't be coming back? How do you tell him never when you know that within a few months it will be way more than just a few city blocks between them but a whole country?

"He isn't, Sweetie, I'm so sorry."

He rubs both eyes with his fists and gets up from the table without saying a word. He doesn't look at her before running out of the kitchen and into his bedroom. The sound of the door closing echoes through the halls of the apartment. She rests her head in her hands. She knows how much this is affecting him but she doesn't know what to do to or say to him to make him feel better. Meredith waits a few more minutes before walking towards his room. He still needs to get ready for school. Edward would be there any minute to pick him up. She knocks on the door before opening the door slowly and walking in. Louis is in his bed and fully underneath his navy blue comforter. She could hear him sniffling as she walks closer to the bed and sits down on the bed. "I miss him," Louis says in a low quivering voice.

"I know." Louis comes out from under his blanket and hugs her. She hugs him back and says to herself, "So do I." Their moment is broken with the sound of the doorbell. "That's Daddy, I will go let him in while you get dressed. Your clothes are hanging up on the closet door knob."

Meredith goes to let Edward in while Louis gets ready for school. She opens the door and lets him in. He sits down on the couch in the living room without saying more than hi. She can't be in the same room with him. She misses him too much. He would be able to see right through her and make everything that much harder to bear. "I'm, uh, going to clean up the kitchen." She goes into the kitchen to clean up all of the cereal boxes Louis had taken out of the cabinets. Normally she would have Louis clean up his own mess but it was the only excuse she could think of to get out of the same room as Edward. Not today. Not when she stayed up half of the night missing him.

Louis comes running out of his room with his jacket and backpack on and jumps onto Edwards lap. His laughs could be heard in the kitchen. He is so happy around Edward. She tries hard to hold her tears back as she begins to think about how heart broken he will be once Edward leaves. Louis runs into the kitchen and hugs Meredith and she hugs him back. "Bye, Mommy, I'll see you after school."

"Bye, Louie, have fun." As soon as she lets him go he runs back over to Edward. Louis grabs Edward's hand and they leave. Meredith looks around her empty apartment. She is a little lost on what to do next. She picks up her cell phone and stares at it for a while before dialing. "Hey, want to come over for breakfast?"

"Do I want to get dressed on my day off, take a cab to your place, and have cereal for breakfast? No, I think I'll pass. Thanks anyway."

"Oh come on, Cristina, I made English muffins this morning."

"You're a regular Emeril," Cristina teases, "No. I am not going to be that person. You're alone so all of a sudden you feel like you need me."

"I have like 5 hours before meeting with Derek. Just come over. Please."

"Oh, God, I can't stand when you beg. I'll be right over."

They hang up the phone and Meredith gets ready for Cristina's arrival. She takes a moment to compose herself. Edward had acted weirdly this morning. He barely spoke to her. They promised their friendship wouldn't suffer and she has kept her side of the bargain…well besides that whole avoiding him while cleaning the kitchen thing. She misses him more than she thought she would. It's finally starting to set in. She is going to be losing her best friend for good and there is nothing she can do about it.

Uncomfortable and back breaking sleep is what Derek finds himself thinking as he wakes up. Barely able to open his eyes, he studies his surroundings. Not only is he not in his own apartment but he had been sleeping on the floor of his best friend's apartment. He supports himself by holding onto the arm of the couch next to him as he stands up. He looks down at himself to see he is still in his clothes from the night before. "Just great," he mutters to himself.

"You could have at least slept on the couch. It's quite comfortable," Mark says from the kitchen.

"I don't even know how I got here last night," Derek replies as he sits down on the couch. He lets out a moan as he sinks back into the comfortable leather cushions.

"Yeah you were pretty wasted." Mark walks over to the couch and sits down next to Derek.

"Did I do anything stupid?" 

"Yes you did. I tried to get you laid and like a pussy you backed out. That's the last time I sacrifice by reputation for you. What's with you anyway?"

Derek really didn't want to talk about it with Mark. He didn't want to talk about it with anybody. He hoped that if he ignored the way he was feeling that it would just go away. Not only did he feel bad for upsetting Meredith over the phone but ever since she showed up at his office he can't stop thinking about her. Ever since he broke up with her he never gave her a second thought. He was so busy with school and his almost engagement to what would have been the biggest mistake of his life. Lately all he can think about are the times the two of them had together. They were great times.

"It's not about Meredith, is it?" Mark smacks Derek in the arm. "Tell me this is not about Meredith. Tell me she is not the reason you were moping around last night when I had a top quality dancer begging me to let her suck you off." Derek says nothing. "You are pathetic. You never should have taken this case."

"It could be the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Don't make me sick, please. Men don't talk like that. Hell, nobody talks like that."

"I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand."

"Ouch, man, that was pretty low but I'll get over it. People like me don't have feelings, right?" Mark stands up and walks into his room and slams the door. He yells out to Derek behind his closed door, "Don't forget to lock the door on your way out."

He knows he messed up. The one person who has been there for him since 6th grade was Mark. He shouldn't have gotten so upset. He snapped. He stands up and begins to walk to Mark's door to apologize. He wants to tell him he didn't mean what he said. He knows Mark has thicker skin than this and will get over it by night fall but still nobody should talk to their best friend the way Derek just had. He looks down at his watch as he takes his last step. Eleven Thirty. "Holy shit, I am going to be late!" Derek runs out the door, makes sure he locks it, and runs to the stairs. The elevator would take too long. Why did Mark have to live on the very top floor anyway?

He runs down the stairs and out into the street praying it wouldn't be too long before he catches a cab. He catches his reflection in the window of the parked car he is standing next to. "I look like hell. Just great." He finally hails a cab and jumps in. He'd have to at least fix his hair in the cab ride over. He kicks himself for not keeping better track of time. He is convinced Meredith will want to walk right out on him as soon as she sees him like this. It's bad enough he pissed her off the night before. Maybe she will understand. She's Meredith after all. She would have to understand.


	5. Chapter 5

As Derek stands in the middle of his bedroom in his boxers he tries to remember how he let Mark talk him going out again. What was the argument that was used to trick him into saying yes? The phone call had been such a blur. He was on an emotional high from when Meredith was in his office. Mark had called soon after Meredith had left. All he remembers is Mark begging him to try once more to get laid. How did a yes even slip his lips? He lets out a sigh as he walks to his closet and tries to pick out the clothes he is going to wear. Before he grabs his pants from the hanger he looks down at his watch, 8:45, Mark would soon be there.

He decides on his faded black jeans. It's not too casual but not too fancy either. He isn't sure what kid of message he wants to send out so it's better to be safe than sorry. He quickly looks through the many shirts that are hanging up and finally decides on his red button down shirt. It's a dark red, almost a maroon, it goes perfectly with the black jeans. He has gotten many compliments in the shirt before so he knows the ladies like it. It's simple, just like his jeans. He sprays himself a few times with his Kenneth Cole Black cologne before he puts the shirt on so it's a little noticeable but not too overpowering.

The buzz of his doorbell interrupts his walk to the bathroom to do his hair. He walks over to the intercom and presses the button to contact the door man. "Mark Sloan is here."

"Let him up, thanks." Derek unlocks the door for Mark and makes his way back in to the bathroom to finish making his hair perfect. He sprays the mouse into his hand and he styles his hair. He looks in the mirror at his unshaved face. "Maybe they'll like the stubble," he reassures himself. He hates having stubble but there is no time to shave now. Mark would be up any moment and he will be rushed to leave the apartment.

Mark opens the door and joins Derek in the bathroom. "You're not going to shave?" Mark questions. Derek rolls his eyes. "That's ok some chicks dig the rugged look."

"I don't think I feel up to this tonight. Can't we just go to a bar and watch the game like normal guys?"

"Normal guys? Normal guys would rather be banging some hot girl than watching a bunch of men in tights tackling each other. Besides, we are not like normal guys. We are better. Come on let's get going. I have a great lineup of dancers tonight."

A line full of people, mostly men, stand outside the club waiting for their chance to get in. The cab pulls up to the building and Mark and Derek get out. Mark shakes hands with the bouncers and Derek follows his lead. Derek has been to the club so many times with Mark that he could show up alone and still be let in with no problem. Each person Mark recognizes he makes sure to at least say hello to. You don't get to where Mark is in business without making as many contacts as you possibly can. The upside to being in the business he is in is that all of the business men want him as their contact. Each person Mark greets Derek makes sure to greet too. Derek knows that a good friend is a made friend. He made the mistake once of not saying hello to one of Mark's regulars and the guy stopped coming. Mark was upset about it but got over it quickly. There are plenty of fish in the pond. Mark leans in to say something into Derek's ear over the loud pumping music that is blasting through out the club. "I have a VIP coming in tonight, there is an area set up just for us. You will get your cock wet tonight, I promise you, bro."

"I just want to relax," Derek says in a frustrated tone. He doesn't want Mark to hook him up with anyone. He knows he could meet someone on his own. He doesn't want anyone. The way his last relationship failed really took a toll on him and made him become more independent. By the age of 35 he has done all the sleeping around that he could. Women throw themselves at him every day and he can honestly say that he has no interest. He would hate to admit it but ever since Meredith came back into his life all his thoughts revolve around her. He doesn't want anybody else.

"I am going to get us a drink. Get comfortable and pick out a girl for yourself." Mark makes his way through the crowd and over to the bar while Derek sits down on the velvet covered couch that is the length of the wall. He politely smiles at the girls he has remembered from passed times being at the club. One of the girls walks over to offer him a lap dance.

"None for me tonight, thanks anyway." He knows he should turn down the dances while Mark isn't around because as soon as Mark gets back he will be surrounded. He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees and his head on his fists. Just as he does a man and a young girl walk passed him. He sits up straight to let them through. The man looks to be around 30 and the girl couldn't be older than 25. Derek nods to greet them and the man nods right back.

Mark walks over with the drinks and hands one to Derek. He sits down next to Derek and puts his drink down on the table in front of them. He looks around and sees the man and the girl. "Hey! Come on over here. I want you to meet someone." The man shakes hands with Mark and he hugs and kisses the girl on the cheek. "This is my best friend Derek. Derek this is one of my best customers, Eddie Russo and his girlfriend Angela."

"Russo? Edward Russo?" Derek says in disbelief. Clearly there must be some mistake, he thinks, it could not be who he thinks it is. He hopes that they just have the same name but a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach tells him otherwise.

"Yeah, Ed Russo nice to meet you, Derek," Edward says as he shakes Derek's hand. Derek flashes him a fake smile and shakes back. "You have a beautiful girlfriend."

"Thanks, man, she is the best. I actually me her here thanks to Mark."

"How long have you two been dating?" Derek can't help but ask, he needs to get more information. He knows he would have to betray Mark and Edward but he knows that if this is Meredith's Edward that this could be the break they need to get an edge in the custody battle.

"About two years now," Edward says as he takes another swig of his drink. "The best part about her is that she doesn't mind me getting lap dances." Just as he says that as if it was scripted two dancers come over, one for Edward and one for Derek, and begin to grind up on them. Mark looks like a proud father as his two friends get lap dances by his two best dancers. He pats Derek on the shoulder as he stands up and walks away for a while.

When the song is over the dancers walk away and Edward's attention moves elsewhere. One of the bouncers walks over to Derek to talk to him but Derek isn't paying attention. He cannot take his eyes off of Edward, he wants to study his every move. Without realizing it Derek takes his cell phone out of his pocket. He knows to make any kind of case in court he will need to have a little proof. He looks down at his hand to the phone and back up at Edward who puts his arm around Angela and pulls her in close to him. Derek switches to the camera feature on the phone and inches himself closer. Luckily there is a light right over their heads or else the picture wouldn't come out at all. He aims the camera at them and quickly takes a picture just as Edward kisses her. He takes another one just to be sure then quickly stands up and walks over to the bar.

Derek stands at the bar for a while nursing a beer. He doesn't want to be near Edward, his girlfriend, or the area where he would be forced to endure countless lap dances. He feels almost dirty knowing what he knows. The worst feeling for him is that somehow he will have to break the news to Meredith. He doesn't want to be the one to do it. He almost wishes he hadn't seen what he saw. Part of him wants to walk outside and call Meredith right away, she has a right to know, but he doesn't. He decides he will need time to figure out exactly what he wants to say. He needs to make sure that it isn't just a name coincidence.

While Derek is watching Edward from the bar he doesn't notice Mark coming up to him. Mark notices a girl standing next to Derek that had been checking him out for the amount of time that he was standing there. Mark mischievously smiles and puts his arm around her shoulders. "This lovely lady would like you sleep with you…oops I mean speak to you." He smiles big at Derek and walks away.

Mark goes back stage to where all the dancers are getting themselves ready. He walks over to Danielle and smacks her on the butt. "Ashley is working her magic on Derek right now."

"If she can't rattle his chain then there is no hope for him. He's got it bad."

"I hope not. He's such a mess when he is with her. He turns into a sissy. I want him to be the real man I have known him as for all these years."

"You just want him to be like you."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." He kisses her hard on the mouth. "Get out there, I'll see you after work. I am going to go check up on my boy." Mark leaves the back stage area and walks up the stairs by the bar into his office. He switches on the security monitors to find the room that Derek is in with Ashley. He finally sees that they are still at the bar. She is flirting and he could not look less interested. Mark zooms in closer to get a better look. The smile on her face dwindles as she starts to get the hint that Derek really wants nothing to do with her. "No, Derek, no. That is top quality ass there." He sees Derek shake her hand. "A hand shake?" Kiss her on the cheek. "That's weak!" He walks away from her leaving her stunned. "That ungrateful bastard." Mark pushes away from the desk and walks over to Derek. "That was so stupid. Even if you think you have a chance with Meredith you have to wait until this divorce goes through and who knows how long that will take. Have some fun while you're waiting. I cannot stand to see you like this."

"I can't just sleep with people like you can. I am happy with where my life is right now. I appreciate what you are trying to do. I just don't want it right now."

"You're still a pussy for turning that girl down. I don't care what you say," Mark teases. They both laugh.

"How long have you known that Eddie guy?" Derek feels like he should get more of the back story that Mark knows so he can weigh how much this would affect their friendship. He even knows he will eventually have to ask to testify against him. He doesn't want to put his best friend in that position but it may have to be the only way.

"He's been coming here for about 5 years now. He's cool, right?"

Derek doesn't know if he should tell Mark or just hold off until he knows for sure. He decides to not ruin the night and that he will talk with Mark about it at another time. "Yeah, nice guy." Derek grows quickly uncomfortable and decides to change the subject. "Busy night tonight."

"Yeah it's been like this for about a month straight now. All my hard work is finally paying off."

"I am happy for you. You're doing a great job." Derek gets the bartender's attention. "Two Sam Adams." The bartender hands Derek the bottles then hands one to Mark. They clink the bottles together and drink. "I am going to head home, I have work tomorrow."

"Alright, D, I'll talk to you later."

They shake hands and Derek leaves the club. As he stands on the side of the road waiting for a cab he takes his phone out of his pocket. Unsure of what to do he contemplates calling Meredith. He looks down at his watch and sees what time it is, it would be too late to call her. He feels terrible for knowing the information that he knows but he knows there is just nothing he could do about it at the moment. The car finally pulls up and Derek gets in. He puts his phone back in his pocket and decides he will deal with it when the time comes.


	6. Chapter 6

Waking up in silence is a new ritual Meredith would rather not get used to. She finds herself for the third day in a row waking up alone. It isn't just in her bed that she is alone but the whole house. Louis is with Edward for the week and Meredith finds the silence almost unbearable. She contemplates calling Derek to go over the notes he told her to begin taking. She had started to begin missing the companionship of another man. She picks up her cell phone and stares at it for a while. It's 11am and she still hadn't even left her bed. Just as she begins to open the phone it rings. She drops it as she gets startled by the ring tone. She grabs the phone off of the mattress and answers it. "Hello?"

"Yeah, Mer, hurry up and get dressed. We are going out."

"I haven't even left my bed, Cristina," Meredith groans, "I want to stay here in bed."

"Oh hell no I will not let you become mopey, hermit woman. I am coming over there." Cristina hangs up the phone. Meredith puts the phone back on the nightstand and just pulls the covers over her head. Just because Cristina will show up at the house doesn't mean Meredith would have to let her in. Just a minute later Cristina starts knocking on the door. "Meredith, you better open this door."

"What the hell? Was she outside the whole time?" Meredith wonders to herself out loud. She pulls down the blanket to be just under her chin then she yells to Cristina through the door, "I am not leaving this bed!" First there is silence then the sound of a key in the door and Cristina opens the door and walks into the bedroom. "Did you make a key!?"

"Of course I did now get in that shower. Don't make me force you." Cristina takes the end of the blanket and pulls it all the way off of Meredith's body and throws it on the floor to the side. "Move it!"

Meredith slowly walks into the bathroom and slams the door shut. Meredith runs the water and steps into the tub. She stands under the faucet for a while to just let the water run down her face. She tries to clear her head of all the stresses that she has been thinking about. At the end of the shower Meredith turns off the water and begins to dry off. "So what did you have planned for us today anyway?"

Cristina smiles before saying in a very satisfied tone, "We are getting massages."

Meredith stops drying her hair for a second after hearing they would be getting massages. "You're kidding." She doesn't know whether to be excited or pissed off at the news. She continues drying her hair. "Are they men?"

"Of course they're men. I wouldn't have it any other way. You deserve to be spoiled and I deserve to be along for the ride now hurry up and get ready so we can have their manly hands all over our bodies."

Meredith walks out of the bathroom in her robe and with a towel wrapped around her head. Cristina leaves the room and lets her finished getting ready. She walks into the kitchen and looks in the fridge for something to eat. She grabs an apple and begins to munch on it. She then walks into the living room and plops down on the couch. She sees Meredith's work notebook on the coffee table and picks it up and begins to read it. She loses track of time and doesn't notice Meredith standing right in front of her. She looks up from the book for a second to see Meredith's Uggs and drops the notebook. Meredith laughs and says, "That's for breaking into my house." She picks up the notebook and places it back onto the table.

"It's coming along good so far and it's not breaking in if you have a key." 

"It is when you make the key without permission."

"Says you."

"Let's just go before all the hot guys are taken and we're stuck with butch Russian chicks." They both shudder at the thought. They grab their coats and leave the house. The cab is still waiting for them out front. "I had him wait."

"You could have told me so I didn't take my time."

"He doesn't care." They get into the cab. "Metamorphosis Day Spa, 127 East 56th St."

"Please," Meredith adds to be polite.

When the cab pulls up to the building Cristina hands the cabby the money and gets out without saying anything. Meredith hands him an extra 20 dollar bill for being made to wait outside for them and they walk in. They walk over to the counter where an overly perky woman is standing with the appointment book open. "Hi, welcome to Metamorphosis, can I have your names please?"

"Cristina Yang and Meredith Grey for an aromatherapy massage," Cristina says, "We can be in the same room for that right?"

"If that will make you more comfortable we could arrange that. You can follow Julia to the locker rooms where you can change into your robes and slippers. Enjoy your time here."

Meredith and Cristina follow another perky girl into the back where they are taken into a locker room that is filled with private changing rooms. They each go into one of the rooms and change into the fluffy white robes and fluffy white slippers that were provided to them. Meredith gets out of her dressing room first and is soon followed by Cristina. They look at each other and smile. "This was a good idea," Meredith says with a huge smile on her face. "We look good."

"We look fantastic. Come on, let's go get our bodies caressed." They leave the locker room area and continue to follow Julia to their room. They walk in, take their robes off and position themselves on the tables under the towels that are provided for them. Soon after they hear the doors open. The massage therapists walk in and start to put their supplies on a roll around cart. Meredith and Cristina strain their necks to the side to get a better look at them while they're not looking. The two men look to be in their mid-thirties. You could see every detail of their sculpted bodies through their skin tight polo shirts. Meredith mouths the words "oh my god" and Cristina mouths back "I know."

Mark and Derek are sitting on opposite sides of a cab in silence. They pull up to their destination and the cabby stops the car. Derek hands the driver the money and they get out. The cab pulls away and they stand outside the building. Mark just stares at the sign that says "Metamorphosis Day Spa" and winces. "This is so gay," Mark says as he turns to walk away. Derek grabs his shoulder to stop him and Mark quickly shrugs him off. "Don't touch me, especially because we are going to a day spa together. This is the gayest thing anyone can ever do. We might as well get a bikini wax and a pedicure."

"Calm down, it's good to get a massage once in a while."

"Men don't get massages together. That's what women do."

Derek just laughs and begins to walk towards the door and Mark follows after him. They walk up to the counter. Derek leans his elbow on the counter and smiles. Mark keeps his distance as to show that they aren't really together. The woman smiles back at Derek and fumbles with the appointment book. "Do you have an appointment?" she nervously squeaks out.

"No but we were hoping you could squeeze us in for a massage."

"Us?" she questions. Derek moves to the side to reveal Mark. Mark flashes a huge smile at her and she starts flipping through the pages of the book. "Uh, yes I do have an opening…we do, we have a spot open for both of you. You can follow her." The woman points to Julia.

"Thank you so much," Derek says as he takes both of her hands in his hands. They follow Julia to the men's locker room area. They walk in.

"What was that all about?" Mark asks.

"We didn't have an appointment; we had to get in some how."

"No, no we didn't. We could have gone to the batting cages or the driving range or something else less homo-erotic."

"You're all tense and that is why you need this massage. You will feel so much better, I promise."

"Let's just get into our fairy robes and get this over with."

"Can you at least try to have a good time and enjoy this? We are supposed to be relaxing and forgetting about our problems."

"I don't have any problems, Derek, you have the problems."

"So you admit that you have feelings for Danielle?"

"I…come on, we are going to be late."

They walk out of the locker room area and Julia takes them to a massage room. They look at the two tables in the room and back at each other. They awkwardly make their way over to the tables and they each grab the towel. They wrap it around their waste before dropping the robes onto the floor and lying down on the tables. It isn't long before the massage therapists walk into the room and get set up. They are two beautiful women, one is blonde and one is brunette both with long hair pulled back into a ponytail.

"Does this place have happy endings?" Mark asks.

Derek quickly takes over before he gets them kicked out before their massage even starts, "He's kidding!" Mark smiles at Derek and Derek whispers, "Don't be an ass."

In Meredith and Cristina's room they are well into their massages. Both women are relaxed and enjoying not only the massage but the smells of the aroma therapy. They both agree that Cristina had made the perfect choice. It's pretty quiet until Meredith speaks up in a low voice, "I can't stop thinking about Derek."

"Can't stop thinking about him how? Like how he is a good lawyer or how you want to jump his bones?"

Meredith hesitates before answering, "The jumping his bones part."

"Mer, we are here to not think about men or divorces or anything like that. That's the whole reason for this day."

"I am trying."

"We have two beautifully hot men massaging us, can you at least pretend like you're enjoying this?"

Meredith closes her eyes to try to drown out her thoughts and enjoy the massage. It's hard for her to relax with so much on her mind. Between Derek, the divorce, and Edward it's enough to make her want to scream. Instead she finally lets herself be one with the massage and her tensions begin to ease. "You're finally relaxing," the massage therapist says in a calm voice. Meredith smiles and so does Cristina. After months of torture her friend is finally able to let it all go.

In Mark and Derek's room it's a lot like Meredith and Cristina's room. They aren't saying anything, just enjoying their massage. Mark has his eyes closed and imagining her hands in other places so he has a smirk on his face. Derek is enjoying his massage but his mind is racing. Just like Meredith who cannot get her mind off of him, he cannot get his mind of off her. He still feels terrible for what he had learned almost a week prior about Edward. He still hadn't told Mark or Meredith about it. He is still trying to come up with just the right way to break it to each of them. He knows that there will be no easy way to tell Meredith and that is what is making it so hard for him to get it off his chest. "Try to relax," the massage therapist says to Derek, "You're tensing up." 

"Sorry." He tries closing his eyes like Mark and just hopes his mind takes him to another place. He knows if he tried to talk to Mark he'd just get a nasty remark back so he keeps his mouth shut. His mind finally starts to wander and he begins to think back to when he and Meredith first started going out. If anything she would be the one to relax his body and calm his mind. She always had a way of doing that to him. He finally slips into a sense of relaxation and is able to enjoy the massage that much more.

After Cristina and Meredith's massages are done the men leave the room and Cristina and Meredith put their robes and slippers back on. They leave the room and make their way to the locker room area. "This was a great idea, Cristina," Meredith says before going into her dressing room.

"I know. You can never go wrong with men with muscles and oil." Meredith laughs.

"I know the perfect thing to do once we get out of here."

"Chippendales?"

"Katz's" Cristina's eyes light up. "Men with muscles and oil followed by a meaty sandwich, can life get better?"

"Impossible." They finish getting dressed and quickly gather their things up to leave.

At the end of Mark and Derek's massage the girls leave and they quickly gather up their robes and put them on. "So do you still think this was gay?" Derek asks.

"Can you please ask me that while you're wearing anything else but that ridiculous robe?"

"I'll take that as a no."

They walk into the locker room area to change back into their clothes. Derek still feels the urge to at least tell Mark that he can't get his mind off Meredith but he decides against it. Instead they each put their coats on and leave the locker room. Derek goes first and Mark waits a few seconds before following. They get outside and instead of immediately getting into a cab they decide to walk for a little while. "I am thinking we need some pizza," Mark says as they walk into a nearby pizza parlor.

"Perfect end to the perfect date," Derek jokes.

"That's not even funny." They both laugh as they walk to their table.


	7. Chapter 7

As the leaves blow through the park on a brisk and cold evening, the young soccer team coached by Denny Duquette and Alex Karev begin to get ready to start their practice. They have come a log way since their first practice. That's not to say that they're not still a mess out on the field but at their age it's expected. All of the parents laugh at the fact that no matter how many times Denny tells them not to, every single kid on the team will run after the ball. In practice they play against each other to get ready for their first game that following Saturday. Denny laughs and shakes his head as his daughter kicks the ball away from her own team mate. "Jess, honey, he's on your team. You're supposed to be working with him, not against him. Just remember that you kick the ball to the boy or girl with the same shirt as you have on. Look you're wearing green and so is C.J. so instead of taking it away from him, you pass to him. Remember how you pass?" A shy Jessica slowly nods her head yes. "Can you show me?" He puts the ball down in front of her feet. She runs in place for a few seconds and boots the ball right to C.J. "Very good, Jess!"

Alex smirks at the power behind Jessica's kick. "I think we have our mid forward, Duquette."

Alex's patience hadn't gotten any better through the weeks. If anything he would get angrier at them for making a mistake. He feels like they should know what they're doing by now. Denny would have to remind him that they're 5 and 6 years old, it's supposed to be a big mess and they will learn. They decided to stick Louis in goal because he had an interest in being goalkeeper. He thought it was cool that he would get to wear gloves during the game. Every once in a while he looks to the bleachers where all the parents are sitting but the person he is looking for isn't there. Meredith calls Edward for what she feels is the 10th time and leaves another message on his voicemail, "Edward, I don't know what is going on but there is soccer practice today. I don't know if you forgot or you're stuck in a meeting but Louis has been looking for you the whole time so please call me back." She closes her phone and walks back over to the bleachers and sits down next to Izzie and Addison who are sitting on a blanket as well as wrapped up in another one. "He didn't answer again.?" She says as she looks to her friends with a desperate look on her face. It killed her every time Louis would look over for his father and hang his head when he realizes that he isn't there.

"Louie is doing well in goal, Mer," Addison says, trying to lighten the mood a bit and at the same time trying to change the subject. The change in Edward's behavior hasn't gone unnoticed. They just don't want to talk about it. None of them has had a friend go through a divorce so they are unsure on what is and is not ok to talk about. They try to be there for Meredith without making her terribly upset. Cristina helps keep Meredith's mind off of it as much as she can. They never bring it up but they are always there for Meredith when she needs someone to talk to.

"Yeah, he has been really excited about being goalie. He asks me to throw stuff to him all the time so he can show me how he can catch," Meredith says, not taking her eyes off of her son. She could tell he is upset. "If he's this upset about soccer practice, how do you think he is going to handle Edward moving away?"

"He will be devastated but you will get through it together," Izzie replies. "All you can do is be there for him, Mer."

"And we will be here for you," Addison adds, "You do not have to go through this alone."

"Thanks guys." Meredith takes a sip of hot chocolate before her phone rings. "It's about time," she says before actually looking at the phone to see who it was calling. She just assumed it was Edward. It's not Edward. Her huge smile quickly turns into a less enthusiastic one as she reads caller ID the screen. "It's Derek." She opens the phone and puts it to her ear, "Hello?"

"Hey Meredith, it's Derek. What are you doing right now?" he sounds a little worried but more anxious than anything. He had finally gotten up the courage to tell her what he knows and he didn't want it to be in his office, he wanted it to be somewhere she would feel more comfortable. Telling somebody the reason their marriage failed is not because they grew apart but because someone was cheating is not an easy thing to do and it's not the first time he has had to do it. It is the first time he has cared enough about the person to want to tell them in their own home. He would be in denial to say that Meredith is just like any other client. She isn't.

"I am at soccer practice. You have a habit of calling during soccer practice. Are you following me?" Although she would never admit it the sound of Derek's voice made her feel a little bit better about Edward not being there. That didn't stop her from being obviously flirtatious.

"I don't suppose I could come down there, huh?" It's definitely not the place to tell someone their husband is cheating on them. It would give him a chance to take her out to dinner first before breaking the news.

"I don't think it would be right tonight, Derek. Edward didn't show up and if Louis saw me with another guy it would probably just make him more upset."

"I understand. Would you be available for dinner another time? There is something I need to talk to you about."

"I can't do dinner tonight, I have Louis. Can't you just tell me at the office?" Meredith asks as she begins to get more uneasy about the way Derek is speaking. It's not only the questions he is asking but it is also the way he is asking them. Asking her out to dinner is enough to make her a little nervous. It would just be them together alone and not in the professional setting they are both used to. She is unsure she is ready for that with him just yet. It's bad enough he is all she can think about. She fears that if she spends too much quality time with him that maybe her feelings for him will come back. There is only so far back you can push the feelings you have for the first person to make you feel like you mattered to them. She didn't push them all that far at all.

"If that would make you feel more comfortable, I would just rather tell you outside of the office." It's not the way he would have planned this conversation to go but he does have to honor her wishes. He didn't even want to alarm her and that is just the opposite of what is going on and he knows it.

"You know you're starting to scare me now, right?"

"I know, I am sorry, it's not the way I wanted this to go at all. This is the second time I have called you during soccer and upset you. I am a spaz."

"Spaz, is that a professional term?" Meredith tries to lighten the mood with a joke. She knows he isn't trying to worry her but he isn't doing a very good job at keeping calm. Just as there is a little bit of silence from both people on the phone Jessica is dribbling the ball down the field and is running towards Louis in goal. "Hang on…breakaway." It's just one on one. Jessica verses Louis. Every parent is now focused on the play happening in front of them. It's brilliant ball handling and she doesn't even know it. Louis concentrates and the thud of the ball leaving Jessica's foot can be heard. Louis jumps slightly to his right as the ball flies a little bit over his head. With all his might he reaches over his head and the ball lands safely in his hands. He lands and grins from ear to ear. "Way to go Louie!" Meredith screams. "Derek, I have to go." Before Derek can respond she hangs up the phone. She looks to Addison who is also beaming over her little star soccer player, "That was amazing! Where did Jessica learn to dribble like that?"

"I don't think she even understood what she did. I guess all those soccer games Denny has been making her watch is paying off. What a save by Louie though," Addison says, "And C.J. had that great pass, Iz, we have some pretty talented kids on our hands."

"They are something else. Did you see that picture C.J. drew for Louis? He wanted to cheer him up because he was sad," Izzie says as they sit back down and wind down from the excitement.

"Louis has it hung up right by his bed."

"Maybe I will have Jessica draw him one too so he can have something from her. It's amazing how they can see that he needs them right now. They're growing up way too fast." Addison wipes a fake tear from her eye.

"I think we spoke too soon," Izzie says as she points to C.J. who is moping around the field. He is no longer running, no longer kicking the ball, and no longer paying attention. "Alex!" Izzie yells out, "please go see what is wrong."

Alex walks along the sidelines until he catches up with C.J. "Hey, C.J., come here for a second." C.J. walks slowly and with his head hanging low towards his father. Every few steps he kicks a blade of grass in frustration. Once C.J. gets to Alex he puts his arm around his son and they walk a little away from the field. They sit on an old bench that is along the side of the field. "What's wrong?"

"I stink at this game," C.J. says as he angrily folds his arms across his chest.

"No you don't. What makes you say that?"

"Jessica ran down the field and Louis caught the ball and I didn't do anything." Alex could see what must have been going through C.J.'s mind. All the parents were cheering for them and C.J. felt left out. Alex had put so much pressure on him to be the best that now he feels like he needs to live up to that. The last thing he wants his son to feel is that he isn't any worse or any better than anybody else on his team. He had gone about teaching him sports and teamwork and sportsmanship all the wrong ways. He would have to fix it quick before C.J. turns into that kid that nobody wants to play with because he always has to be the best at everything.

"And who kicked the ball to Jessica?"

"I did."

"You are just as important to this team as anybody else is. You all work together as a team. Nobody is better than anybody else, do you understand me?" C.J. nods his head yes. "Passing the ball is just as important as shooting it or saving it. Just remember that when ever you are on a team when the crowd cheers, they are cheering for everybody. The most important thing is that no matter what you have fun. Win or lose…although winning helps, as long as you have fun nothing else will matter."

"Thanks, daddy."

"You're welcome, now go out there and play with your team." C.J. quickly hugs Alex before practically jumping off of the bench and running to the field to practice some more. Alex walks over to where Izzie, Meredith, and Addison are sitting to give Izzie an update on what happened. "He was feeling like he wasn't as good as everybody else because everyone was cheering for the others."

"Oh, my poor baby!" Izzie squeals as she puts her hands over her mouth. Alex just laughs at the over dramatization of his wife.

"Relax, Iz, he's fine. I talked to him."

"If it's ok with Alex, I would like to have all the kids over for dinner tonight," Izzie says with half an eye looking at Alex. Alex knows that no matter how he felt about it they would have the 3 musketeers over for another rowdy dinner. He didn't mind the kids being over but after a long day of work and then practice he does like to just relax in front of the TV on his chair with a bag of popcorn and an action movie. There would be none of that. What Izzie wants Izzie gets and there is no telling anyone otherwise. Izzie knows that she could get whatever she wants just by saying it's so but she likes to at least include him in the decision making process even if she may shoot him down if he says no.

Alex just smiles and says, "Of course it's ok with me." Alex walks away and goes back to the field with Denny to start wrapping up the practice.

Izzie continues, "Now Meredith can go out to dinner with McDreamy Esquire."

Meredith doesn't say anything. She knows that they all know that it's true. With Louis gone she could meet with Derek and he could tell her what he so anxiously wants to tell her. She smiles and picks up her phone to call Derek. The phone rings a few times before Derek answers. Meredith starts talking before Derek can even open his mouth, "I'm sorry about before." She truly was sorry. She got so excited about the play on the field that she just couldn't pay attention to Derek and the game and of course the game is more important.

"It's ok, I understand. You're busy, I get that." Derek sounded a little annoyed. He wasn't sure why he let it get to him. He knows he is just her lawyer and she does have a life outside of his office. He just wasn't expecting to be turned down. Derek rarely got turned down for anything, especially dinner with a woman. Any other woman would have said yes and probably would have offered to pay for dinner if it meant spending the night naked in his bed. He didn't want any other woman. He wanted Meredith.

"You're mad," Meredith says. She doesn't ask, she knows. "Before you get mad I have some good news."

"Oh?"

"Louis is going to Izzie's for dinner so I am free if you still want to go out tonight." Meredith at this point is more anxious to find out what it is that Derek wants to tell her than actually seeing him. Seeing him actually scares her due to the fact that she can't get him out of her head. She has been feeling lonely and she doesn't want to make a stupid mistake based on her desperation for contact and admiration. It had been so long since Edward had even hugged her let alone been intimate with her. A person can only go so long before they begin to become desperate. A handsome lawyer is a hard thing to turn down. Especially when he looks at her the way Derek does. He is caring, he has sympathy, and most importantly she can tell that he cares.

"I do. I will pick you up at 7:30. See you then, Meredith." They hang up and Meredith turns around to see that the practice is letting out. Just as Meredith puts the phone in her jacket pocket Louis runs up to her and gives her a big hug. She catches him as he jumps into her arms and she leans her head on his. She puts him down. "You did great out there, Louie, are you having fun?"

"It's the greatest! Did you see me catch that ball?" The tone in Louis's voice is enthusiastic and happy. It's almost like he had forgotten that Edward hadn't shown up to see him practice. Meredith holds Louis's jacket out for him to slip his arms into and he does.

"Guess what. C.J.'s mommy is making you, C.J., and Jessica dinner. Isn't that exciting?"

"Yeah!" Louis screams as he jumps up and down. Meredith laughs. "Mommy, was that daddy on the phone?"

"Yeah, sweetie, he is sorry he couldn't make it. He got caught up at work. You know he wouldn't have missed this if it weren't really important."

"I know." Louis hangs his head and all the happiness and enthusiasm he had just a few moments earlier is now gone. Meredith does what her instincts first tell her to do and that is hug him. She wraps her arms around her son and holds him tight. He squeezes her back and closes his eyes to try to hold back his tears. She lets him go and stands back up from the squat position she was in. "Can I go with Mrs. Karev now, mommy?"

"Of course you can, sweetie. Be good and have fun."

Louis smiles and says, "I will!" as he runs to catch up with the others. Meredith watches them walk to the subway stairs until they cannot be seen anymore. After they walk down the stairs and are out of site Addison, Denny, and Meredith walk to Meredith's car. Addison and Denny are parked right next to Meredith. They recently bought a car to get around in the colder months.

"Good luck with your dinner with Derek, Mer," Addison says before getting into the passenger seat of their newly purchased Honda Civic.

Meredith smiles before getting into her own vehicle. As she waits for the car to warm up she leans her head back onto the head rest. She closes her eyes and contemplates calling Edward one more time just to make sure things are ok with him. It isn't like him to miss anything of Louis's and the fact that he isn't answering any of her phone calls bothers her. She looks at her phone once before placing it back into her purse and deciding against getting angrier at him than she already is. She instead decides to think happy thoughts and to mentally prepare herself for her dinner with Derek. She has to remind herself that this is only going to be a client having a dinner with her lawyer and nothing more. All she can hope for is that everything goes smoothly and whatever Derek needs to tell her is not as scary as he is making it out to be.


	8. Chapter 8

As Meredith paces back and forth in her bed room in front of her open closet she contemplates calling Derek and asking him where they were going and what she should wear. He had never told her if they were going to a casual place or something fancier. The last thing she wanted to do was over or under dress. She stares at her cell phone that lay on the end table next to the bed. She finally walks over to it and picks it up. She walks back over to her closet while the phone rang. She continues to pace until the person on the other end finally picks up. "Hey Mer, what's up?"

"I don't know what to wear." Once again her pacing continues. "I am going out to dinner with Derek and I don't know what to wear."

"Wear that sexy black dress that anyone could see your cleavage from a mile away."

"Cristina!" Meredith exclaims. "It's not that kind of dinner."

"Then why do you care what you wear?" Silence on the other end of the phone. Cristina knows as well as Meredith does that this is not just any kind of dinner. This could be the dinner that could turn her whole life around. It has become harder and harder for Meredith to not only deny her growing feelings for Derek but also harder to hide them. All of her friends could see her glow whenever his name is mentioned. It was just as it had been all those years ago when they were dating so they are not strangers to the way she gets around him. Cristina learned quickly that on appointment days are the only days that Meredith smiles. "You can't hide it anymore, Mer."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Meredith snaps back, still wanting to deny what she knew to be true. With her free hand she grabs the hanger with her black dress on it. "It's a safe dress that can be worn for either casual or fancy. That's the only reason why I am wearing it."

"I didn't say a thing."

"I could hear you thinking it. Hang on." Meredith puts the phone on the dresser as she quickly slips out of her clothes and into her dress. She picks the phone back up. "Ok."

"Do I really need to be on the phone the whole time you get ready?" Cristina asks. Before Meredith can answer the doorbell rings. "And that's my que to go."

Meredith begins to panic, "I'm not ready. I'm not ready."

"You're dressed aren't you?"

"Yeah but…" she begins to say before Cristina cuts her off.

"Bye, Meredith." Cristina hangs up. Meredith grabs her shoes from the bed and puts them on quickly before making her way to the front door. She checks herself once more in the mirror before opening the door. When she opens the door there stands Derek with a box of pizza in his hand. He is still dressed in his suit because he came straight to her from work. He smiles as soon as he sees her. She looks beautiful which kills him even more. Meredith's eyes move from his to the box of pizza.

"We're not going out to dinner are we?"

"I thought it would be better if we talked here. Is that ok?" It would have to be ok. Not only did he walk 5 blocks with the pizza but his feet are beginning to get cold. "I couldn't get a cab so it might be a bit cold."

"Come on in. I'll give you the grand tour," Meredith says as she stands aside to let Derek walk in front of her. She closes the door. "I'll put your coat in the closet." She helps him take his coat off, opens the closet door, and hangs the coat on a hanger. "The kitchen is all the way at the end of the hallway, you can just put it on the table."

Making sure he pays every bit of attention to the details of the house he walks slowly to the kitchen. He smiles when he sees pictures on the wall of the family. There is one of Louis and Edward. There is no mistaking that the man he had met a week before was the same Edward Russo that he thought he was. Derek puts the box down on the table and Meredith joins him. "I'm sorry I invited myself in like this. I just thought it would be better if we stayed here."

"Don't worry about it." They stand there in awkward silence as they are unsure of what to do next. "I guess I could show you around and then we can eat." Meredith takes Derek on a tour of the house. She shows him each room and makes sure to show him the bathroom just in case he needs to go. The whole time he can't take his eyes off of her. Yes, it's a beautiful house but the way the dress hugs her every curve is much more beautiful. Every once in a while she turns around to talk to him and he pretends like he hadn't gotten lost admiring every inch of her.

As Meredith walks from room to room talking nonsense about each part of the house she can't help her mind from wandering. It was very surreal to have Derek in her home. The way he had been acting lately was enough to make her nervous but to actually have him in the house proves to be the most nerve racking thing so far. She contemplates showing him the bedroom. She knows it would probably be awkward. She's no fool. The tension between them lately could be cut with a knife. To show him the bedroom would probably make her blush and him awkwardly laugh but to ignore it all together would be too obvious. It's the last room in the house. Despite of her better judgment she opens the door. "This is the bedroom…my bedroom. She continues, "Where the magic used to happen." She said it in a joking tone but Derek doesn't laugh.

He isn't sure he is supposed to laugh. Instead he just smiles and says, "It's nice." He couldn't help looking over at the perfectly made bed and imaging laying her down on it. "You have a beautiful home." He immediately kicks himself for sounding like a total fool. He wasn't sure what he should have said but he knows that what he did say sounded fake. It wasn't fake. He did think it was a beautiful home. His mind is on other things. He still hadn't come up with the right way to tell her about Edward. He thought telling her at home would be better but he starts to second guess his decision. It's too late though, he would have to tell her after they eat.

"Thanks. Should we eat now?"

"Yes, let's eat."

They walk to the kitchen and Meredith gets out plates and cups and places them on the table. It's a miracle the pizza is still warm. They begin to eat and at least for the moment Derek forgets what he is there to do and instead they talk about anything but the divorce. It was a change of pace. Since they had reunited all that got to talk about is legal things and Meredith's failed marriage. The conversation went from her new novel to Derek's close encounter with marriage to Louis being on the soccer team. They talked about when they were younger and laughed about some of the things they had done together while dating.

Both of them almost stuffed with pizza they sit at the kitchen table laughing about their past. They're laughing so hard that Derek can barely get his words out, "Re…remember when we had sex on the side of your house!"

Meredith laughs even harder, "Yes! You tried holding me in your arms and that didn't work." She takes a minute to laugh a bit more, "I hit my lip on the fence and we had to tell my mom I got hit in the face with a softball."

"Oh my god, that's right! You were so swollen and I felt so bad. I have to admit, that's the craziest thing I have ever done."

"Same with me. Thinking back on it I don't think I would ever do something like that now."

"Yeah, to be young and horny again." They laugh a bit more and the laughing dies down. They had gotten so caught up in talking about what the used to do that they didn't realize they had been talking about sex for a good half hour. Derek remembers that he is there for a reason, a reason that is haunting him. He doesn't want to ruin what has turned out to be the perfect evening. Meredith can tell something is bothering him and she knows that he had been so desperate to tell her what he wanted to tell her that she would have to face the music sooner or later. She is scared to death of what news he could possibly have for her. She decides that now is the time.

"You came here to tell me something?" she asks. Someone was going to have to bring it up sooner or later and it's starting to get late in the evening.

"Why don't we go sit in the living room?" They get up from the table and walk into the living room. They both sit on an opposite side of the couch. He leans back on the corner of the arm rest and positions himself to face her. He takes a moment to figure out how he would go about telling her. "Do you remember the night of your prom and we had walked outside to get some air? We found that old gazebo and sat down to look at the stars. You were cold so I gave you my tux jacket to keep you warm. I wound up getting pneumonia and we had to stay in the room we rented instead of having fun on the beach like everyone else. You told me that it didn't matter because as long as we were together you didn't care where we were. That night Izzie caught Jason making out with Michelle and everyone knew the whole time that he was cheating on her. We made a pact that no matter what happened between us that we would always tell each other the truth no matter how much it might hurt." Why he chose that story to start with he would never be able to say. It was the first thing that came into his head. He could tell Meredith was just more confused. He would have to stop beating around the bush and just tell her. "On my phone there is a picture that you need to see. Before I show you I just want you to know that I am not showing this to you as your lawyer but as your friend. It has taken all of what I have in me to be able to tell you that the end of your marriage is not your fault and it was not a mutual agreement like you think it is."

"Derek, what are you talking about?" Without saying another word Derek reluctantly hands Meredith his phone. She closes her eyes for a moment to compose herself for what she knows will break her hear into an infinite amount of pieces. After a few deep breaths she finally opens her eyes and looks down at the picture of her husband kissing another woman. At first she just drops the phone to her side. Unable to speak, breathe, or even cry she just turns to Derek. The desperations for some kind of explanation is apparent in her eyes. Tears start to flow from her eyes but she still doesn't make a sound. He feels helpless as she searches for some way to let out what is building up inside her. "Why?" she sobs hard. "Why?" she repeats. It seems to be the only word she can form at this time. Derek is unsure if he should hug her or not but his first instinct is to wrap his arms around her and hold her close.

"He's been with her for 2 years, Mer." Her sobs grow harder and more frequent. He can't bear to see her like that so he holds her tight. He fights his own tears as he continues to tell her what he knows. "She's a dancer at Mark's club. He knows them both very well. I was there the other night and Mark introduced us. Edward Russo and his girlfriend. I was immediately sick to my stomach and I knew I needed to have some proof. I haven't told Mark yet but he will have to testify. I know this is a lot to take in and it doesn't make up for it but this means you will get to keep your son." Meredith buries her head into Derek's neck and continues to cry. Words can't describe the pain she feels throughout her body. He was right. It wasn't mutual. She was kidding herself thinking that going along with the divorce because it was obviously what he wanted would make her realize that she wanted it to. She didn't want it. He made her want it. "Meredith, I am so sorry." The betrayal and hurt she feels is soon masked by anger. She wants to get back at him. She wants to hurt him as much as he hurt her. She pulls back from Derek, grabs a tissue from the box on the coffee table, and wipes her eyes. She then does something that neither of them expected to happen. She straddles him. "What are you doing?!" Derek panics not knowing how to react. He knows if anything would happen between them that they would both regret it. She tries to kiss him and he gently pushes her away.

"If he can cheat, why can't I?" Meredith replies. It is almost like she is possessed. She isn't thinking. She's just acting and not thinking of the consequences of her actions. Deep down in the back of her mind she knows that what she is doing is wrong yet she can't help herself. All she knows in the moment is that she needs to do to him what he did to her. She wants to make him pay.

"Meredith, this is not the way to handle this." He pushes her off of his lap enough where he can stand up. "You know and I know that that would be a bad idea. You're upset and you're irrational. Do not do something you're going to regret later."

"I can't believe you're turning me down. What kind of man are you anyway?" she yells at him, frustrated that she can't let out her emotions the way she wants to. She didn't mean it. He knows she didn't mean it. Maybe in that moment she did but he knows that once she cools down she will know that not sleeping together was the better choice. She feels bad for yelling at him but in the same instance it felt good to get it out. Just wanting to scream at someone had been bottled up inside for so long. "Get out!" She can't help herself. She needs to be alone. She can't even look at him. He knows she doesn't mean it and he knows that she needs time to herself so he does what she wants. He walks to the closet, grabs his coat, and leaves.


	9. Chapter 9

Colorful carpet with letters and numbers on it, colorful toys, the ABC's on a banner that goes across the whole room, an autumn scene full of colorful leaves is painted on the windows, and a book case filled with every children's book imaginable are just a few things that fill this kindergarten class room. The kids sit Indian style as the teacher in front of the class reads a story. Louis Russo, CJ Karev, and Jessica Duquette sit next to each other just as they have been together for all of their lives. They have been lucky enough to be placed in the same class for their first year of school. They have also been lucky enough to be placed with the teacher who has the reputation of being the nicest teacher in the school. She is very organized and has the class on a schedule. Friday is story telling day which is why they are sitting in the middle of the class room and listening to her read "Where the Wild Things Are".

Mrs. Richards is their teacher. She is in her late 20's (about 28) and in her 2nd year of teaching. She stands at a tall 5'9, she has long dirty blonde hair, brown eyes, and she is just about the nicest person you could ever meet. She is every parent's dream teacher for their child and every child's dream teacher. Just as she begins to read CJ nudges Louis with his elbow and Louis looks in his direction. Louis whispers, "We have to be quiet."

CJ knows they shouldn't be talking during story time but it was the first time in the day they had time to talk and what CJ wanted to say had been bothering him since that morning after breakfast. "I heard my mommy and daddy walking about your mommy and daddy."

"What did they say? Is my daddy coming back?" Louis asks with hope that Edward would be moving back home and they would be a happy family again.

Jessica looks to the both of them and whispers, "You're going to get in trouble." As the only girl in their little trio she was always looking out for them to make sure they keep focused and never get in trouble. She liked looking out for them. It was like she was a big sister or a mommy. They never seemed to mind having her look out for them. They even have gotten used to it and sometimes expect it.

They stop talking and smile as the teacher looks over at them to make sure they're paying attention and not disrupting the other students around them. As soon as she begins reading again they continue to talk. CJ leans in and whispers close into Louis's ear, "My mommy said your daddy is going away forever."

"That's not true!" Louis yells.

The teacher stops reading and looks up at the commotion that has started over Louis's outburst. "Louis, please hold your talking until after the story."

"Sorry, Mrs. Richards," Louis says sheepishly. It wasn't like him to disrupt the class. He normally wouldn't get into too much trouble. Of course he and CJ would get a little carried away once in a while but that is a typical 5 year old boy. Normally he would sit at his seat and do his work quietly. Getting his name called out like that has gotten him a little upset. Mrs. Richards continues to read the story.

"My mommy said the same thing, Louie," Jessica adds once the teacher's attention goes back to the story.

"You're liars! My daddy loves me. He tells me all the time!" Louis says as he pushes CJ over.

"Louie, stop!" Jessica pleads.

Now with tears flowing from his eyes Louis pushes CJ again, this time harder than the last time. "He's not going away!"

"My mommy said he is," CJ says as he pushes Louis back. At this point all of the class's attention shifts from the story being read to the shoving match between CJ and Louis. Jessica's pleads get the attention of Mrs. Richards and she puts the book down so she can separate the two boys.

"Louis you go to that corner and CJ you go to that corner." Mrs. Richards says as she points to the corners of opposite sides of the room. "You two will have to wait there until the principal comes to bring you to his office."

CJ stomps his feet as he walks to his corner of the room and sits in a chair that is there for disruptive children. Louis hangs his head and slowly mopes to his corner of the room. He sits down on his chair, folds his arms across his chest and silently cries. CJ pulls his feet up onto the chair and rests his chin on his knees. Jessica watches as her two best friends wait to face the principal. She wishes she could go with them. She looks over at Louis who still has tears flowing from his eyes. She walks over to him and gives him a hug.

"Jessica, I understand you want to make your friend feel better and that is a very nice thing to do but you need to join the rest of the class," Mrs. Richards says as she tries to round up the rest of the class to start a coloring project as she calls down to the office for the principal. It doesn't take long for Principal Webber to make his way to the classroom.

"Louis and CJ come with me," he sternly says as his voice booms through the class room. The two boys stand up from their chairs and leave the room with the principal. It wasn't CJ's intention to make his friend mad or sad and Louis really didn't want to fight with CJ but they did and now they would have to face the consequences of fighting. Neither of them had been to Principal Webber's office before so they exchange glances as they walk into the office and take a seat on the chairs provided for them. They would have to think about what they've done as they wait for their parents to be called. They both know that they're going to be in big trouble once they arrive.

Meredith had woken up early that morning. She was alone once again since Louis wound up sleeping over at Izzie and Alex's house the night before. For once she was thankful she was the only one home so she could be alone with her thoughts. Ever since she practically threw herself at Derek her emotions have been running wild. She isn't sure what to think. She isn't sure whether to be angry at Derek or angry at herself. She is embarrassed and every once in a while she grows more and more angry that he had turned her down. She decided to go for a jog and to take Cristina with her. Forgetting it is the fall (and not really caring) she puts on her jogging shorts and a tank top over her sports bra and jogs to Cristina's apartment. Cristina was expecting her, Meredith had called at 6am demanding that they go jogging.

Cristina had put on a sweatshirt and some sweatpants to keep herself warm. She stands outside her apartment building waiting for Meredith to stop by. She sees Meredith in the distance and starts walking towards her. "You know, I liked you better when you were married and anti-social," Cristina says as she joins Meredith in her jog, "I actually got to sleep in."

"Jogging is good for the soul," Meredith says as they turn the corner. Cristina isn't sure where they're going or if Meredith even has a plan as to where they're going. She is just following the leader. She could tell that whatever is on Meredith's mind will probably be coming out soon in some sort of rant so she patiently waits for that to happen. Cristina had gone through plenty of early morning jogs in college so this isn't new to her. It just hadn't happened in quite some time.

Every few seconds or so Cristina would look over at Meredith to see if there were any signs of her cracking. She still didn't know why they were jogging and they had gone countless amounts of blocks already. Meredith seems to be on autopilot, looking straight ahead and not even thinking when they make a turn. "So are you ever going to tell me why you woke me up at 6am to go jogging or are we going to just run until you hit New Jersey?" Cristina finally asks. She can't handle the silence anymore. She needs to know what is going on.

"Normally when you throw yourself at a man, they're supposed to just take it, right?" Meredith starts off saying. Cristina is unsure if that's a rhetorical question or if Meredith really wants an answer to it. She continues, "I mean if I were a man and someone asked me to sleep with me, I would. I wouldn't just push them off me and walk out the door like a…gay guy. I would screw her right there on her couch, no questions asked. Why is it when I throw myself at someone, they run away like a little girl?" This time Meredith pauses.

"Oh, is this where I answer? Because to be honest with you I am a bit confused and you kind of caught me off guard. I have no idea what you're talking about. Did you throw yourself at someone?"

"I may have let my emotions get the best of me. I found out Edward has been cheating on me so I figured I could do the same so I jumped on Derek and he freaked out and left."

"Wait Edward's been cheating on you? That bastard! Does he know you know?"

"No. We have a meeting with the lawyers next week. I am sure he'll be surprised to see Derek is my divorce lawyer. Speaking of Derek, what the hell kind of a man turns down sex? I thought he was a real man."

"Are you more upset that Derek turned you down or that Edward has been cheating on you?"

"Yes…no…I don't know!" Meredith says as she is obviously flustered and half paying attention to the conversation. She is too busy focusing on the building in front of them.

"It wasn't a yes or no question. Are you even listening to me?" Cristina says as she begins to pick up the pace to keep up with Meredith as Meredith's jog has turned into a run.

"There's his building. I am going to talk to him about this," Meredith says as they come up to the doors.

"Mer, wait!" Cristina says as Meredith's run turns into a sprint and just like that Meredith has disappeared. Cristina stops running and begins to walk. There would be no point in running after her. Cristina doesn't even know where to go. She looks down at herself in her sweats and back up at the nice building she has walked into. "Just great. I look like a bum."

Meredith doesn't bother with the elevator when she gets into the building. She heads straight for the door that leads to the stairs and sprints up them skipping a step every few steps. She makes it onto Derek's floor and marches down the hallway to where his law firm is. At this point she is acting on pure adrenaline and emotion. She walks into the office and passed the secretary's desk and straight into Derek's office, she doesn't think about the fact she is hardly wearing any clothes. She doesn't care that his secretary says he is in with clients. She blows through everybody, walks up to him, and kisses him.

Derek is a bit surprised when Meredith bursts in the room. He looks apologetically to his client for the outburst but before he can say anything her lips meet with his. At first he is stunned. He doesn't know what to do. His first instinct is to push her back and ask her what the hell she is doing. He wants to stop her from making a mistake she is going to regret. He wants to tell his client and his soon to be ex-wife that he is sorry for the outburst of his crazy friend. All he can do is wrap his arms around her and kiss her back. 

Cristina finally decides she is going to have to walk up to the desk in the main lobby and ask where Derek's office is. She would have to stop her friend from making a huge mistake. "Hi, I am looking for the law office of Derek Shepherd."

"Fourth Floor, Suite 476," the woman behind the counter says.

Cristina walks to the doors that lead to the stairs. She takes one look at the door and decides she'd rather take the elevator. She steps onto the elevator and pushes her floor. She is thankful she is alone because she just knows that she'd be in there in her sweats surrounded by rich business men in their suits that cost more than one month's rent for her apartment. The elevator stops on her floor and she steps off. She walks down the hallway and towards Derek's office. She finally sees his suite number and reluctantly opens the door. Who knows what trouble Meredith has already gotten in to already?

Meredith finally pulls back when the sound of someone clearing their throat breaks her concentration. She looks at the man and the woman sitting on opposite ends of the table from each other. The woman with her lawyer and the man obviously has Derek as his lawyer.

She slaps him on the arm before saying, "That's what you get for not sleeping with me, you bastard!" she cries out. The woman puts her hand over her mouth in complete shock and the man can't help but laugh to himself. The sides of her mouth curl up to smile. Embarrassment would be an understatement for the way she feels. Completely and utterly mortified is more like it.

Derek adjusts his tie and also clears his throat before finally speaking. "Meredith, this is Mr. Delgado and his wife and her lawyer." Meredith sheepishly waves and mouths the word "sorry".

Cristina opens the door and walks in. All eyes turn on her and she stops in her tracks. "Hi, I just came to collect my friend. She went a little cookoo. Nice meeting you all."

The lawyer stands up with her client, "Well I think we have just about seen enough here. Mr. Shepherd, I will have my secretary call to reschedule. You obviously have some…things to work out."

"No!" Derek, Meredith, and Cristina all yell out at the same time.

"I am terribly sorry. You continue here and just pretend this never happened," Meredith says as her and Cristina back out of the room and they close the door behind them. Derek joins them outside the room for a moment. "Derek, I am so sorry."

"We will talk about this some other time, Meredith. Please just go," Derek snaps before walking back inside the office and slamming the door behind him.

Cristina looks wide eyed at Meredith as they start to leave the office. "What the hell did you do?"

"We'll talk about it later," Meredith mumbles. The last thing she wanted was the nosey secretary knowing what had just gone on in there. Before they can say anything else Meredith's phone rings. She sees from the caller ID that the school is calling. "It's Louie's school, hang on." They stop out in the hallway so Meredith can answer the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi, Mrs. Russo, I am calling from The Birch Wathen Lenox School where your son Louis attends. I am going to have to ask you to come down here. Louis got into a bit of an altercation with another student. Principal Webber would like to meet with you."

"Of course, I'll be right down." Meredith hangs up the phone and looks to Cristina in a panic. "I need your sweatshirt…and your pants. I need your clothes."

"What the hell is going on? I am not giving you my clothes." They begin walking a fast pace to the elevator. The elevator doors open and they step on and Meredith pushes the button for the lobby.

"Louis got in a fight and they want me at the school. I cannot go there looking like this. I shouldn't even be going there looking like you, no offense, but we pay a lot for this school and I can't go in there looking like I just came from the gym."

"Look, I saw a clothing store down the road. We'll just get you some clothes really quick and we'll go to the school. This doesn't get you out of telling me what happened with Derek, by the way, you will spill the beans in the cab ride there."

"Fine, whatever, let's just hurry." Once the elevator hits the lobby they rush out of the building and down the road. Meredith buys the most professional looking clothes she could find. Meredith even buys Cristina some so she doesn't feel like a bum walking into the school either. After they get changed they find a cab and get in. "Two-Ten East 77th Street please and hurry." With that the cabby fires up the engine and they're on their way. "I wonder what the hell he did that got him in so much trouble. This isn't like him." Cristina doesn't answer her. "Fine I'll tell you. I kissed him. I walked in there and I kissed him. And then I slapped him and called him a bastard."

"Oh my God, Mer, you've gone completely off the deep end. And in front of his client like that, you are going to be in so much trouble. You're lucky if he'll continue to want to be your lawyer."

"He kissed back!"

"Like he had a choice, you practically raped the man…twice." Cristina sits back and snickers. "I wish I would have been there to see it." As they pull up to the school they see Izzie standing outside almost like she was waiting for them. "Hey isn't that Izzie?"

"What is she doing here?" Meredith wonders to herself out loud. It takes Meredith a moment to realize but then it finally clicks in her head that Louis and CJ probably had gotten in trouble together. Meredith pays the cab driver and they get out of the car. They walk over to Izzie and walk into the school together. Nobody says a word. They had never been in this situation before. They just walk in silence into the doors of the school and wait to be called into the principal's office. Meredith hopes that what ever they had done isn't too bad. She doesn't even think to wonder why Edward isn't there. She doesn't really want him there anyway. The door to Principal Webber's office finally opens and they walk in. What could Louis and CJ possibly have done to get them into so much trouble? They will soon find out the whole story.


	10. Chapter 10

Meredith and Cristina take a seat next to Louis and Izzie sits next to CJ

Meredith and Cristina take a seat next to Louis and Izzie sits next to CJ. The room is silent. Neither of the boys even wanted to look at their mothers. Meredith puts her hand on Louis's back to assure him she isn't mad at him and that he shouldn't worry. She can feel his tense back ease as he sinks back into the chair. Principal Webber looks to the door one more time before standing up and closing the door. He sits back down in his chair and finally speaks, "Will Mr. Russo be joining us or should I proceed?"

"Apparently not," Meredith says bitterly.

"Alright then I am going to get started. Mrs. Grey I don't know what is going on at home but I think you may need to have a talk with Louis about what is actually happening." Meredith looks at him a little confused. "Louis and CJ got into a little fight during class. CJ told Louis that his father is going to go away and never come back. Does this sound familiar to either of you?"

Meredith looks at Izzie. "I'm sorry, Mer, he must have over heard Alex and I talking."

"It's ok. Looks like we're all going to have to get together and explain this to the kids, Jessica too." She looks back at Principal Webber. "It's just that we're going through a divorce right now and maybe I haven't explained a few things to him yet but I wanted to wait until I knew for sure. I apologize our sons were so disruptive. So what's going to happen to them?"

"Normally fighting is grounds for suspension but I know that these are good kids so I'll let them off with a warning this time. Please do what you say and take the time to explain all of this to everyone involved. They have a right to know too."

"So it's true?" Louis says almost in a panic as he looks up at Meredith, tears starting to flow again. She puts her hand on the side of his head and wipes a tear with her thumb, it kills her to see him suffering like this. Before Meredith can answer Edward walks into the room.

"Sorry I'm late, I had a meeting," Edward says. He sees Louis is upset and walks over to him. "What's wrong, buddy?"

"Are you really leaving forever?" Louis asks as he rubs his eye with one of his fists.

Edward just looks at Meredith. He thought they had agreed not to tell Louis until after the divorce was finalized and they knew who would be getting custody. He grows angry that she pulled that card and told him first. "I thought we were going to wait," Edward says as calm as he can

"I didn't tell him. He got into a fight with CJ about it." Edward looks at Izzie and shakes his head then looks back at Louis. "We'll talk about this later, buddy, ok?"

"But I don't want you to leave!" Louis says as he begins to cry again. Edward picks him up into his arms and holds him. Louis wraps his arms around Edward's neck and Edward rocks him back and forth like he used to do when Louis was a baby.

Meredith looks to Principal Webber, "I am so sorry about this all happening in your office and everything. Is it ok if I take him home?"

"I think that would be best."

Edward puts Louis back down onto the floor. Louis walks over to CJ who is still sitting on his chair next to Izzie. Louis puts his hand on CJ's shoulder, "I'm sorry I pushed you, CJ."

CJ puts his hand on Louis's opposite shoulder, "It's ok. And I'm sorry I told your daddy's secret."

Edward holds out his hand for Louis, "Come on, Louie, we're going to go out for some lunch.

Louis walks over to Meredith and holds onto her leg, "I want to stay with mommy."

Edward hangs his head. Louis is mad at him. As well he should be. This isn't the way he wanted him to find out. He wanted to have a man to man talk with him. They were supposed to explain it to him. He wasn't supposed to hear from his friend. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. He reluctantly looks at Meredith who is shooting daggers at him. His mere presence is enough to send her over the edge. It's painful to even look at him. Their whole marriage had been a lie and now their son is the one who is suffering. She hates him even more for doing this to Louis. In her rage she manages to finally speak, "Be at the house at 7." Without saying anything Cristina, Meredith and Louis walk out of the room.

Meredith sees Denny down the hallway. She looks at Cristina, "I'm going to talk to Denny, I'll be right back." Meredith walks over to where Denny is standing outside of his classroom.

While Meredith is on her way down the hallway Louis grabs onto Cristina's hand. "Hi Cristina," he sheepishly says.

"Hey munchkin," she says back as she squeezes his hand a little bit just to show him that she's there.

"I'm sorry I cried in front of you," he says as he hangs his head.

"Hey that's ok. You can cry any time you feel you need to."

"A man doesn't cry in front of a lady," he says as he repeats back what Edward had once told him.

Cristina squats down to get to his eye level. Why all of a sudden she turned into this sensitive person with all the right words to say she doesn't know. All she knows is that her best friend is in pain and her son is breaking into little pieces right in front of her. "A real man shows all of his emotions. Don't let anyone tell you different." He smiles and she stands up and they continue to wait for Meredith.

Meredith waits for Denny to finish talking with another teacher before she walks all the way up to him. When the teacher walks away Denny sees Meredith and smiles. "Hey, Mer, is everything ok? I heard the boys got into a little fight."

"Yeah, it looks like we're going to have the big talk with Louis. That's actually why I came over here. The kids are hearing different things from over hearing conversations so we're all getting together to have the big talk with everyone so the kids can ask their questions and they all understand what is going on. You, Addison, and Jessica should come. Everyone will be there at around 7."

"We'll be there."

"Thanks, Denny." They wave goodbye to each other and Meredith walks back to where Cristina and Louis are still standing. "How about the three of us get something to eat?"

"Oh thank god, I'm starving," Cristina immediately replies.

With Louis in the middle Meredith and Cristina each grab his hand and they begin to walk outside. When they get outside they see Izzie standing in the street trying to hail a cab. They walk towards her. "Hey, Iz, we're all going out to lunch. Do you want to join us?"

"Yeah sure."

"Everyone is going to be jealous of you, munchkin, a date with three girls is every man's fantasy," Cristina says. Meredith just glares at her and Izzie laughs.

They decide to walk to the nearest Italian place. On their way there Meredith contemplates just how she is going to get through the night. They had never actually talked about what they were going to say and how they were going to explain this and now they wouldn't just be talking to Louis. CJ and Jessica are affected too. She doesn't know how she's going to stop herself from yelling at Edward for cheating on her. Edward. Derek. She had really messed things up with Derek. He would probably never forgive her. The next time she would see him would be when they sit down with Edward and his lawyer. She would have to make things right with Derek somehow. Not just because he is her lawyer and they have to work together but in that moment she realizes that she doesn't want to lose him again.


	11. Chapter 11

March 15 – Spring Training – Tampa Bay Devil Rays New York Yankees 1:15pm

Meredith and Cristina had been working all afternoon on getting things ready for their meeting. They made sandwiches for the kids, steaks for the guys, and chicken for the women. As the time got closer to when everyone would start coming over Meredith got more and more nervous. She still has no idea how they are going to go about explaining divorce to all of the kids. She doesn't know if it will just be her and Edward or if they'll be able to call on their friends for help. She opens the refrigerator to make sure they have enough to drink for everyone. There is plenty. Her and Cristina shuffle around the kitchen trying to get it all set up by the time people arrive so they won't have to worry about that. They keep the meet in the oven to keep it warm and the sandwiches in the refrigerator to keep cold. The doorbell rings at 6:30 and she stops dead in her tracks. She knows it's Edward.

"Mer, are you ok?" Cristina asks. "Do you want me to get the door?"

"I just want to thank you so much for helping me with all this. I know I have been distant these past few years. I just…I'm sorry. You have been my life support through everything."

"That's what friends are for. You've gotten me through some pretty tough times so I am glad to be able to do the favor. I'll even push Edward down the stairs for you if you want."

Meredith giggles, "No, that won't be necessary. I'll let him in." Meredith walks to the door and opens it. Edward walks in without saying a word. He knows he is not wanted in this house and he respects that Meredith probably wants to cut off his balls so he just walks into the living room where Meredith and Cristina had set up chairs and sits down in the back. Meredith walks back into the kitchen to continue preparing. "Do you think I should talk to him about what we should say?" Meredith whispers.

"That would probably be a good idea since people will be here in 15 minutes," Cristina whispers back. "And why are we whispering?"

"Ok, I'm going in." She walks into the living room and sits down next to Edward. "Maybe you should go tell Louis first…before anyone else gets here. Tell him that you're leaving."

"You don't know who is getting custody. That's why we agreed to wait to tell him." It frustrates Meredith that he is acting like this isn't all his fault. He still doesn't know that she knows he's been cheating. She has decided not to tell him until they meet with the lawyers. She can't wait to see his face when he realizes that Derek is her lawyer and Derek is that same person he met at the strip club.

"Well you need to tell him something. He's been up there in is room since we got home. He's pretty mad at you right now. I am just trying to do what is best for him. This was your decision and now you have to deal with it."

Edward stands up and walks up to Louis's room. He opens the door and Louis is sitting on his floor coloring a picture. When the door opens Louis turns around, sees Edward, and goes back to his picture. Edward sits down next to Louis. He knows he can't push him too far or he'll just run out of the room to Meredith. "What are you drawing, buddy?"

"Cristina," he says not even looking up from the paper.

"I know you're not happy with me right now. I want to explain to you what's going on. Your mother and I have grown apart. We still love you though. We will both always love you as much as we always have. My job is moving me to another state and we both can't take care of you at the same time. We don't know who you're going to stay with yet but you'll still get to see them on the weekends."

"Why do you have to go? I don't want to be away from you or mommy," Louis says as he finally stops coloring and looks up at Edward with his big brown eyes.

"I know but I have to listen to my job."

"Why can't you get a new job?"

"I just can't, buddy, and I am sorry." Edward puts a reassuring hand on Louis's back.

"Can you leave my room now?"

Edward knows that it is his time to go. There is nothing he can say to make this situation better. He is going to wind up hurting his son either way. He stands up and walks downstairs and returns to his chair in the living room. Everyone else has already arrived so Meredith goes upstairs to get Louis so they can start. She slowly opens the door and at first she doesn't see him. She starts looking around the room and finally sees him in his head. He is holding onto his teddy bear that she had gotten him when he had to get stitches. "Everyone is downstairs, Louie. Do you want to stay here instead?"

"I want to go with you." He pulls the blankets off from him and runs over to her and hugs her. She hugs him back. He runs over to his table to get the picture he made for Cristina and hands it to Meredith. "Did you make this for Cristina?" She almost giggles because he had tried to spell Cristina but it came out like Kritna. He just nods his head yes. "Do you want to give it to her?" Meredith hands the paper back to Louis and he runs downstairs. Meredith shakes her head knowing that she is dealing with a little crush that Louis has on Cristina. She follows after and walks back downstairs to join her friends for the reason they're all there.

Cristina and Izzie had begun to pass around the food when Meredith got down stairs. They were all in the living room. The adults are on the chairs and the kids are sitting on the floor. Meredith had set up a bar stool in front of the room so she could sit up front and face the group. As she sits up there she realizes that she isn't all that great in speaking in public. That had always been Edward's strongpoint. She knows she can't count on him for this though. They should be doing it together but at the same time part of her just wants to do it on her own so it's all in her words. She knows she can count on Izzie and Addison if she needs it. She doesn't want to leave them out because even though they hadn't planned on it this has affected all of their families.

"So this is kind of weird for me. I didn't really imagine all of this would end in a press conference and most families wouldn't have to do this when divorce comes up but we are not like most families. We are all best friends and our children are best friends. When something affects us it affects them too and sometimes we get wrapped up in our own lives that we forget that they don't really know what's going on and they have a right to know." She looks down at the little faces of the three children sitting in front of her. They're all paying attention so closely. "Today Louis and CJ got into an argument about something that CJ had overheard. We realized that we need to be more open with our kids about what is going on so that's what I am trying to do. I feel like I am rambling though. Please stop me if you have something to add, any of you."

"You're doing a great job so far, Mer," Izzie says, "If you need help just ask."

Meredith addresses the kids. "Divorce is just another word for when people who are married that break up. They won't be together anymore. One parent will move out. In Edward and my case Edward's job is moving him across the country so he won't be around as much anymore. We have to meet with some people to determine where Louis is going to stay. This doesn't mean we love Louis any less. We both still love him very much but we have just grown apart. This doesn't mean that your mommy and daddy will be splitting up. This is just what is best for us right now."

"Don't you love each other anymore?" Jessica asks.

Meredith hesitates. She isn't sure how to answer that. She knows even though that no matter what she will never stop loving him. She knows that nobody else can help her answer this question but her. "We…I still love him. We just aren't in love anymore."

"Oh that's sad," Jessica replies then takes a bite out of her sandwich.

"But what if Louie has to go away?" CJ asks, "I would miss him. He's my best friend." CJ hugs Louis.

"We'll make sure you'll get to see him, pal, you're not going to lose your best friend," Alex answers. He doesn't want CJ to get upset. They definitely wouldn't split the boys up. If Alex had to fly with CJ out to Seattle once a month he would do it and he knows Izzie feels the same way. If it were up to Alex Louis would stay with Meredith. A boy needs his mother and every since they heard about Edward cheating they would rather not see him ever again. What's worse is that Edward made Meredith feel as if this is what she wanted. He manipulated their friend. If they were to see each other one on one Alex would probably punch him in the face.

"If any of you kids have any questions about what is going on you can always ask us," Addison adds to take some of the pressure off of Meredith.

"Yeah and Louis is going to need you guys to be extra supportive. This isn't easy for anyone so it's your job to cheer him up when he's feeling sad," Denny says.

CJ and Jessica both put their arms around Louis's shoulders. "We can do that, daddy," Jessica says with a smile on her face.

"Yeah!" CJ says enthusiastically. The parents can't help but laugh at the sight of their kids together like that. They're lucky they all get along. They know that no matter what happens, the kids have a special bond with each other that most 5 year olds don't have. They understand the value of friendship and they truly love to be around each other. They all think that CJ may have developed a little crush on Jessica. He's so protective of her like she was his own sister.

"Does anyone else have any questions before we get the ice cream out of the freezer?" Meredith asks. Louis raises his hand as if he was in school. "Go ahead, Louie."

"Who chooses where I go?"

Meredith wasn't expecting that question from him. She isn't sure how to put it into terms a child would understand. She would just have to answer the best she can and go from there. She doesn't even dare look to Edward for help. "Mommy and daddy's lawyers get together with a judge and they decide. You know what a judge is. It's that guy who gets to wear that long black robe in the court room." Louis still looks a bit confused but he doesn't ask any more questions. Maybe if Derek would ever speak to her again she could introduce Louis to him so Louis can understand who he is.

CJ raises his hand next, following Louis's lead. He doesn't wait to be called on though. As soon as Meredith looks up at him be begins talking. "Can we have ice cream now?"

The room collectively giggles. "Yes CJ, you can have ice cream now. Everyone into the kitchen!"

The kids stand up and run first into the kitchen. They form a line in front of the table that Cristina has set up. All the different flavors of ice cream are sitting on the table for the choosing. They have vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry. They even have a toppings station where the kids could choose from sprinkles, chocolate chips, chocolate syrup, or cherries and whipped cream. As soon as they began to enjoy desert the tension in the house eased up a bit. Edward decided it was best that he probably should just leave. He wasn't any help at all. Meredith had thought he would have at least tried to explain a little why he was leaving but he sat silent and kept looking at his cell phone. He was probably texting "her" or something. All in all it was a good night. The kids seem to have a better understanding what is going on with the Russo's and what has been going on with Louis. They now know that he really needs them to be there for him when he is upset. And they know that even though Meredith and Edward might not have worked out that doesn't mean that all parents will go through a divorce. Meredith makes a note in her journal what time Edward left and the fact that he hadn't said anything the whole time. At least Louis now knows just what a horrible person his father is. She wishes it didn't have to be this way but she has no choice. He fought dirty and now it's her turn.


	12. Chapter 12

March 15 – Spring Training – Tampa Bay Devil Rays New York Yankees 1:15pm

The day has come. It's finally here. The moment that she has been preparing for for months. She and Derek are going to be meeting with Edward and his lawyer to work on getting the divorce settled. It's bitter sweet. She is anxious to get it over with and to go on with her life but at the same time there is part of her that is devastated that it is even happening. She is still so hurt that he manipulated her into thinking that this is what they both want. She still loves him. She was angry with him when he told her he would be moving away which is making this a lot more complicated than just having to choose who Louis will live with during the week but ever since she found out he cheated on her the thought of him nauseates her. The picture that Derek showed her will be forever etched in her memory. He wasn't even trying to hide the fact that he is cheating on his wife. He did it right out in public. He didn't care about her at all. Who knows if he really cares about Louis? He has always been a great father but if he loved him so much he would find a way to stay in New York with him.

She takes one good look at herself in the mirror. She's wearing a silky lightly colored pink button down blouse and a gray skirt that reaches her knees. She isn't wearing too much makeup. She wants them to see just how miserable she is. The dark circles under her eyes show that she hasn't gotten much sleep. She has yet to get used to sleeping alone. She wipes a tear from her eyes from the thought that he doesn't even have that problem. She looks on her nightstand where her "divorce journal" lies. Writing in that has taken over working on her novel. She knows it is something to help her in the long run but writing down everything that is wrong with her marriage had become emotionally draining. Actually seeing her husband becoming more and more distant for the first time. She pulls the book to her face and begins to sob.

"Mommy, why are you crying?" The little voice of her son startles her and she quickly wipes the tears from her eyes.

She squats down to his level. "Mommy is sad, Louie." There was no use in lying to him. He had caught her crying and he is a smart kid. He would ask more questions if she tried telling him that everything is alright and she isn't ready or in the mood for those questions right now.

He hugs her and she wraps her arms around him. "I'm going to miss daddy too," he says as he rests his head on her shoulder. More tears flow from her eyes but she keeps quiet. He didn't need her breaking down in front of him. He needs her more than ever right now.

She stands up and holds out her hand for him to take. "Come on, let's get you dressed and ready to go to CJ's. Izzie should be here any minute."

Meredith takes some clothes out for Louis to put on and the sound of the doorbell tears her away from helping him get dressed. He hadn't let her help her in a few days. He claims to be the man of the house now and he could get dressed on his own but she likes to be there just to make sure he doesn't put his pants on backwards and that he puts his shoes on the right feet. She walks to the door and opens it. Izzie is standing there with a smile with CJ by her side. "Good morning, Mer," Izzie says as she gives Meredith a hug. "I know you're not a huggy person but I figured you could use it this morning."

"Thanks, Iz, for everything." They begin to walk inside and wait for Louis to come down from his room.

"Oh you're welcome, Mer. How is Louie holding up?"

"He seems to be he's doing better than I am. He understands what is going on today. If you could keep an eye on him I'd really appreciate it. He has this thought in his head that he's the man of the house now so he may be trying to hide it from me that he's upset."

"I'll keep an eye on him." Izzie puts a reassuring hand on Meredith's shoulder. The sound of Louis's door closing causes them all to look to the stairs for him. He stands at the top of the stairs with a smile on his face. "Hey, little man, are you ready for some fun?"

"Hi, Izzie," Louis says shyly.

"Behave for Izzie, ok, Louie. I'm counting on you."

"Knock 'em dead, tiger," Louis says to Meredith as they walk out the door. Izzie and Meredith can't help but laugh. Meredith gives Louis one more hug before they leave.

After they leave Meredith goes back upstairs to finish getting ready. She slips her feet into her shoes and puts an overcoat on. She picks up the journal, her purse, and her keys and she leaves the house to walk to her truck. She tries to compose her thoughts as she makes her way through the morning city traffic. Derek had assured her that he will do most of the talking so she doesn't have to worry about that. He would never leave her hanging out there. They will make valid points, show evidence for not only the cheating but the ways he has been withdrawing from the family more and more since they separated. She had just recently learned from Louis that on nights that Edward is supposed to be spending time with Louis that he has been hiring a baby sitter and going out. That pissed her off more than anything. This was between them. He was still supposed to be the great father he always was. He isn't the man she married. She doesn't know this man and yet she knows she is going to miss him.

As she circles the building to find a parking spot she remembers the last time she was there. Derek was so mad at her for bursting into his hearing. They haven't talked since then but his secretary called her yesterday to ask her to come in earlier than usual so they could discuss a few things. Meredith knows that he's probably going to chew her out for what she did. She's embarrassed by her actions. In a room of people she talked about how he had turned him down for sex. She can't believe she even let herself get out of control to ask him for that. He had a right to turn her down. But he did kiss her back. When she kissed him he definitely kissed back. It's all too confusing and she knows that she shouldn't consume her mind with thoughts of Derek when today isn't about them, it's about her and Edward and Louis. She finally finds a spot to park and pulls in. She puts some quarters in the meter and walks inside.

When Meredith makes it into the waiting area of the firm she doesn't wait for Sheri to call her in, she just walks right into Derek's office. He is sitting at his desk looking over some paperwork. The sound of his door closing causes him to look up. When he sees Meredith he closes the file and puts it down on the desk. He leans back on his chair and leans the side of his head on his pointer and middle finger as he rests his elbow on the arm of his chair. "I don't even know what to say to you right now," he says coldly, obviously still angry with her for her actions.

"Derek, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking." She is pacing back and forth in front of his desk.

He chuckles as he sits up straight. "You're sorry? I lost my client over your little outburst." His tone is not only cold but it's not turning mean. She hates it when he gets angry. He turns into a whole different person.

"This was a mistake…coming here and asking for your help," she says in a panic and starts to gather up her things.

"Clearly." She stops in her tracks and turns back around and puts her things down.

"I just wanted to feel wanted again, Derek."

"Meredith, you are my client. You are technically still married. I couldn't do that. I couldn't do that to you. I couldn't do that to myself. You don't want me. You want love." He says it as if he is hurt. He says it as if he wants to believe that he wants her to want him and to love him. He doesn't know if that's what he wants but he's angry with her and sympathetic all at the same time. He had lost an important client. It's against everything he stands for to do what she wanted him to do and it makes him so angry that she doesn't see that. It makes him more angry with himself for wanting it to happen. "I can't believe that you out of all people don't understand why I had to say no."

"I was in shock. I was in pain. You had just shown me a picture of my HUSBAND kissing another woman. You then told me that it has been going on for two years. What was I supposed to do? You tell me how a woman is supposed to react in that situation because I sure as hell don't know. And you're right. I did want to feel love, but I did…I do want to feel it from you. Do you know how awful I feel for wanting that? I shouldn't want that. Not after what you have already done to me. You broke my heart and last night instead of preparing myself for this stupid divorce hearing do you know what I was doing? Looking at our prom pictures."

"Meredith…"

"No. It's my turn now. Ever since you have come back into my life I have felt like I am appreciated. Maybe that was just you doing your job, I don't know. You opened my eyes to what my marriage had become. I was too blind to see for myself. You came over my house to tell me…you didn't have to. You could have waited. But you didn't wait. You told me in the comfort of my own home because you care…because that is the kind of guy you are. So I am sorry for coming in here and causing you to lose a client but I think I love you and I just can't do this anymore."

Without a word Derek stands up and walks over to her. She isn't sure what he is going to do or say. He quickly dives in to kiss her. As soon as his lips touch hers they both feel the electricity of 12 long years run through their veins. She had never been kissed like this before…not since he left her. He had never loved anyone as he loved her. All the feelings and all the emotions of all those years before have come back. He pulls her in closer and depends the kiss. She wraps her arms around him and pulls the back of his shirt up to feel the skin on his back. The touch of her skin on his sends a shiver through his spine. He needs more. She needs more. They need each other. Never breaking the kiss he begins to work on the buttons of her blouse. One by one he feverishly undoes each button. As their tongues slowly work each other he picks her up and lowers her onto his desk. He quickly pulls her stockings down and then undoes his pants. She reaches her hand down to pull his throbbing cock out of his boxers.

Their bodies ache for him to be inside of her. Without another moment passed he goes in. It's not soft and sweet, it's desperate. He begins to pump hard and fast. The feeling of her around him makes him lose his thoughts and he almost forgets where he is. He lets out a moan as she tightens her walls around him. As he goes in deeper she threatens to scream out loud herself. She takes his tie and bites down on it. This is the last place they could get caught doing what they're doing. With his hands he begins to caress her breasts and he head leans back as she is about to release. He head leaning back brings him closer to her as his tie is still in her mouth. He starts to nibble on her neck and kiss her collar bone. With one more pump she lets out her moan and he finishes inside her. She falls forward and leans on his shoulder as he has his head on hers. He slowly lifts his head, looks into her eyes, and smiles. "I love you too," he says softly into her ear and then he pulls out and starts to straighten himself up.

Meredith doesn't say anything. She just pulls her stockings back up and straightens her skirt out. As she searches the office for her blouse she begins to panic. "What did we just do? Oh my god, what did we just do?" She looks up at him with desperation, guilt, and confusion. "We have to tell them. We have to tell them what we just did."

"No we don't," he says calmly as he takes his tie off and puts it in his drawer.

"We have to tell them," she repeats, "We just did what he did. It doesn't make it right. You said so yourself. I can't…I can't lie."

"You have to lie, Meredith. If you tell them then you will lose your son."

"I can't believe we just did that. Oh god, but it felt so good. And did you say you love me? And I told you that I love you, right? What were we thinking?"

He can see that all her emotions are catching up with her and she is about to break down. He walks over to her and hugs her. She leans into his chest and he rests his head on her head. "It's all going to be ok. I will make sure of it. We got carried away. We can't let his happen again…not until the divorce is final. Then we can talk about it." He rubs her back and he lets her go when he feels her relax. He walks back over to his desk and opens his drawer. "You're lucky I keep spare ties in my drawer for situations like this or we would have a problem."

She finally finds her shirt draped over a chair and begins to put it back on. "Oh so you make all your clients this satisfied with your service?" she says with a giggle.

"Actually it's more for when I am clumsy and spill coffee but this is a much better excuse." He beings to put his tie back on.

"How am I supposed to go in there looking like the broken, cheated on wife after we just had sex?" Meredith says as she looks at herself in her compact mirror.

"I have confidence that you will be just fine. Don't worry about a thing. I'll take care of you." She turns to him and he makes sure like there isn't any evidence of sex. "You look perfect." She smiles. "You are on the pill right?"

"Yes."

"Oh thank god because that would be messy."

"You're telling me."

"Do you have the journal?" She holds it up and hands it to him. He thumbs through it and realizes there are a lot more pages than he expected there to be. He looks at her sympathetically. This really has been tough on her and their son. He hopes that they could settle it within a few sessions but there is no guarantee of that.

"Don't look at me like that. He's turned out to be a crappy husband and father but that is why we're here. As you said, I'm going to be fine."

"Are you ready to get this started?" he asks as he picks up his briefcase and begins to open the door.

"As ready as I can be."

He puts his hand on the small of her back and ushers her from his office to the conference room where they will start their hearing. Edward and his lawyer aren't there yet so they take a seat at the table. Not too much longer after Derek and Meredith sit down Edward and his lawyer walk in and take their seats. It takes Edward a moment but he finally puts two and two together and it hits him who Derek is. His eyes go wide as he knows that he was caught red handed and no doubt Meredith knows by now what he has done. "You're…you're her lawyer?" Edward asks in total amazement and shock.

Derek just smiles and says, "Surprise." Meredith shoots Edward a look telling him that she knows what has been going on. Edward's once cocky demeanor turns into a defeated one. He sinks into his chair and crosses his arms over his chest. He now knows that this won't be as easy as he thought it would be. This isn't just two parents fighting over their son. This is a man who cheated on his wife thinking he could hide it away forever fighting for his life. Derek pulls a piece of paper with the picture of Edward kissing his girlfriend from the gentleman's club out of his folder and pushes it towards Edward's lawyer. His lawyer studies it and then looks at Edward with a look of disgust on his face. "Perhaps you two should talk for a while and then we'll come back and finish this up." We will be in my office. Have Sheri get in touch with me when you're ready to proceed. Derek stands up and Meredith follows his lead. They walk into his office and close the door. "This may be over quicker than we thought."


End file.
